Some thoughts on faith. OK... a lot of thoughts on faith.

This is crazy. Hannah, I logged on tonight to write about pretty much exactly what you just wrote about. And we didn’t even talk about it while we were sitting there today, but I was thinking about that too! Only I have a little bit of a different spin, but basically the same idea.

So I went to see this speaker today. Her name was Krista Tippett and she hosts the weekly radio show “Speaking of Faith” that airs on NPR on Sundays at 7am. The last time I listened to the radio at 7am on a Sunday was pretty much never, but I have heard her on the radio a few other times when listening to NPR. And let me tell you, I don’t know where she stands on the Jesus scale, but this lady understands religion. The gist of her talk was about religion in mass media, and why it deserves attention. One of her points was that people who are religious get a lot of flack about not being intellectual. Granted, not all religious people are, but I know a lot of religious people who have given a lot of thought to their beliefs and the ways in which those beliefs govern their lives. Intellectuals and scholars can pour all of their energy into figuring out what makes things work, or how history unfolded, or where we came from, but at the end of the day, none of that answers the innate questions that people have about what their purpose is, or how to love, or who they should become. Religion answers those questions, no matter how far we go scientifically, things like life, death, love, and purpose can never be understood with deductive logic; these are things which at their very core are spiritual questions.

So, with that being said, she talked about how often, when people are religious, that is what defines them in the media. Mitt Romney was never just a guy running for president. He was the Mormon running for president. For the media, beliefs are something that a person must justify. If someone in the media is a professed Christian, he or she must first show people that he or she is also a thinking person who deserves credibility. Why is this not the other way around? Tippett talked about the word evangelical, which has come to mean many things in America: fundamentalist, right wing, extremist, political, proselytism, etc. She pointed out that evangelicals have been around a lot longer than their reputation, which has lately been tarnished. I think a similar thing has happened to the word Christian which is what Hannah was getting at. Being Christian today holds all of these stigmas. To non-christians who meet Christians, a Christian is probably considered any or all of the following: a fetus lover, a homophobic, a converter, a dumb person, a republican, a hypocrite, a follower (as in, they proverbially “drank the kool-aid”), and the list goes on… I honestly wouldn’t categorize myself as any of those things, except maybe hypocrite and fetus lover, but I digress.

Yet, I still feel very strongly about categorizing myself as a Christian. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I really don’t want to give up on the word. I know people have messed it up with the crusades, and the hypocrisy, but it is such a good word. I mean, look up Christian on Wikipedia: “one who professes belief in Jesus as Christ or follows the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus; one who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.” It’s a good word. And I want to take it back. I want to reclaim the word from all of the people who have used it in vain, who have used it to make money, who have used it to kill, or hate. And I see no point in trying so hard to separate myself from the people who are Christians whom I don’t agree with, because I don’t see it as doing any good. I try not to resent very many people, because it stirs up emotions in me that I don’t really like (this is where we need code words so that I could mention a few of the people who I have a hard time not resenting).

And I totally agree with Hannah about the sentiment that I want to learn to have a better conversation with God on a regular basis. I feel like that’s a big part of why Jesus came: to get the conversation going, and to bridge the gap. And it’s so easy to feel like it is pointless talking to God. Satan tries so hard to convince us of that. I feel like I’ve been giving him a foothold lately, every time I think for a second that there is no one listening when I pray. Ironically, this woman who is (probably) not even a Christian reminded me that religion is a valid thing that fills people’s lives and changes the way they live and that is commendable. And the other thing I learned is that the Christian “box” that we think people put us in is probably not as small as we think it is. Most people I meet (not all, by any stretch) do not make nearly as many assumptions about my faith as I think they do. That’s why it is encouraging to talk about faith issues: because people are a lot more open to it than you’d think. So all that to say that I agree with Hannah that it can be frustrating to be labeled, but I disagree in that I don’t mind the label as much as I used to. If people want to look down on me for being a Christian, then they are entitled to that, and it probably means that I’m doing something right. And if my walk with God, my peripateo, can be more consistent and guided and pure and holy, then I don’t really care what label people give me.

[I always get more long-winded when I’m working at the desk, so sorry for basically writing a dissertation. I love you ladies, and I’ll talk to all of you soon!]

Love,

Katesters

Also... some pictures. Which you may or may not have seen on facebook.

Spring is HERE! ( I generally love foreign words for seasons. Spring in Italian is primavera which I think just sounds like a sauce. So I stuck with English.)

The Truth

Helllooo ladies! Well, as weird as it sounds...school has been getting increasingly better for me as this last bit of time dwindles down. I figure a lot of factors have been contributing to this; for one, the weather. It's been awesome! Also, simply the fact that I have such fun things to look forward to that are quickly approaching! You girls all coming home..Mexico..(even though I may catch the swine), and..yea! ; )

Oh, so today Katie and I met at this..Faux..woodstock thing at our school. We soon realized that the guy and girl rapping were christian rappers. It was odd..but we kept listening and tried not to get tooo thrown off since this chicks outfit was a liiitle out there. So I'm standing there listening to there kind of corny lyrics..and looking around at everyone's faces as the stare in awe (the bad kind), and I thought to myself...what do people really think Christians are? I mean, dont answer..there are many possible responses..but..i just thought..I dont want to be like that. ha. I want people to know that I am...not a christian, but a follower of God. And in the midst of all of that commotion I saw the blunt difference. I am really hoping that this summer God will just grow me more into the person he's created me to be. Not into a "better christian" (which I'm not gonna lie...sometimes is my mentality), but a better creation. I feel like that is why I've been struggling through the years with why I wasn't very happy following Christ. I wasn't happy, because God doesn't want someone to pretend with all of their might that they know what they are doing, or know all about the bible. He doesn't want someone to show their church what a "good person" they can be. God wants us to fight for His truth, to not settle, and to be nothing less than the deeply unique person He has formed us to be in order to accomplish His perfect will while we are here one earth.

So girls, this summer I am making a personal goal to listen to God. Not just talk at him (that's what I usually do when I pray), a conversation with the Lord should be like any other conversation we have. You speak, you share, you listen. However, I truly want to take in his word...His truth...and apply it in His perfectly designed way for me, using the many gifts and abilities He has blessed me with. So, I cannot wait to see what amazing things God has in store for not only me, but for all of us.

I love you all truly and hold you deep in my heart,

Hannah Grace

Reflections (not like Mulan...well, ok, a bit like Mulan)

So here I am again, completely procrastinating because I know I'll be outta here a week from tomorrow. "Whew, this has gone by so fast," I would love to say; but I won't, because this would be a lie. Why is it that second semester seems to have dragged on and on for simply ages? 

So now that I have finally and practically conclusively come to an end to my first year experience at Cornerstone, what do I have to say for myself? Drum roll please.....nothing. Ok, no, I am not trying to sound like a total Katie downer (love me, Katie!), nor am I shooting for the masochistic, I can't do anything right status. But I have to say, I honestly do not feel like I've grown at all. Now, let's get something straight. I know this to be a nefarious falsehood, because I think more or less every year I feel like this. I always think to myself "well, this year was pointless," and it's usually not until much later that I see just how purposeful it was. This year does seem to have been particularly anticlimactic, though. I have been working on so many areas of my life that none of them seems to have made any progess. I have learned no major lessons, I have made no major changes, and I have no major changes to look forward to just yet. I suppose that is really the reason for my current sentiments. This is the first year in three years that I don't have a major transition upon me (2006, new high school; 2007, college; 2008, new college). It's nice not to be preparing for a new place, but I'm not quite used to it. I feel oddly unaccomplished.

Maybe I'm just saying all this to hear it contradicted (ok, sidenote: that reminded me of Pride and Prejudice when Lady Catherine storms into Elizabeth's house with the famous "Heaven and earth! Are the shades of Pemberly to be thus polluted?"). Maybe I'm looking for a "no, no, Elisa, you've actually grown into exactly the woman God wants you to be," which better not be any of your responses because it isn't true and if it was, God would have some explaining to do. Or perhaps it is just time I reflected. Regardless, I'm sure weeks or months or years down the road, I'll begin to see how God was working this year. It's just a matter of eternal perspective, of which I have a very little amount. 

Well, nothing like a novel by Elisa to keep you all busy, eh ladies? Sorry to be so contemplative. Should I appologize for that? Ah, whatever. This is "what you love about me," right? Don't answer that. 

Eternal love and thankfulness to you all,

e l i s a

 

Summer Lovin?

I must admit, all this talk of summertime is making me antsy. I realized that I still have a month left until I am home for good, and that month is sounding longer and longer! It's not that I have that much to do in the next month, but each day is taking forever (especially with this beautiful weather) - and it's hard to hear that Lisey gets out in two weeks! I'm jealous. For some reason, I feel like there is so much distance between now and freedom, and I'm starting to idolize the summer. Unfortunately, I really won't have that much freedom, because I will be busy about 6 days a week. I know, I know - I totally brought that on myself by over-scheduling myself, but I was afraid I would be so bored without you ladies. Hopefully, I won't go crazy with my internship 3 days a week, nannying 1 day, bartending 2-3 nights, and taking a class on top of it all. Whew. On a positive note, I just bought MegaBus tickets for a trip to Minnesota in the beginning of August. I thought I deserved a little trip by myself to relax and have fun with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. There is a little more to that story that I will have to tell you about in person...:)
Anyway, I wish there was a way that we could all get together before Katie takes off. I'm really bummed that I won't be able to come home before school gets out. Is there any way we can plan a weekend or something for the end of the summer? Or maybe even once school has started next year? Wow, I can't believe I'm already talking about next semester. That seems so far away! By then, I'll be living in an apartment, taking only a few classes, and working my butt off to make some money! Sweet. It also means that I will be only a few months away from GRADUATING. Ahh. Okay, that's enough talk of that.
Have any of you heard of the book The Irresistible Revolution? I just started reading it. It's by this guy named Shane Claiborne (http://www.thesimpleway.org/shane/ don't be turned off by his picture, he looks pretty freaky here), who actually came to talk at Taylor tonight. If you haven't heard of him, you should definitely look him up. He calls himself an "ordinary radical" which he defines in the book, but basically he believes that following Jesus means living with the homeless and broken people and loving them by coming alongside them, not just giving them money from afar. He talks a lot about the church and ways that God can use you despite the problems with the American Church today. It's a lot more than that, but I'm just summarizing here. Anyway, I really enjoyed listening to his stories, and I'm really excited about reading his book. I feel like he's pretty much putting something that I have felt my whole life into writing.

Well, I better get back to watching my Spanish soap operas for class - no joke.
I love you, sisters.

Heather Grace

Woahh!

Ok so wow. This weather couldn't have come at a better time. I honestly thought I was gonna lose it with the whole bipolarness of Ohio weather. I'm spending the weekend with my brothers and we're really having a good time. It's been a while since we've spent this much time straight together. Even though I do have work to do this weekend..and am still stressed at times, being here has just been relaxing and helped me to best enjoy the amazing weather outside. So, lately...(Elisa I know we've had manny talks about this in the past ha) I've just been feeling old. Now..I know...I'm not. However, whenever things start to really change in my life and I see how different we all are now...and what the possibilities of the near future are, I just get kinda freaked! Maybe its also the fact that I'll be turning 20 next weekend, again, that's not thaat old...but I won't be a teenager anymore! We are growing up girls, whether we like it or not.

Well, more than ever I am just getting super pumped (not only for this summer), but for next semester even! I am still trying to fathom the idea that I wontt be having to wake up at 7 for classes. Awesome! And though I cannott wait for you girls to all be home and be with me, ha, I am also dreading it. I know how hard its gonna be for me to leave you girls this summer, you will of course be all off doing your own thing and probably wont even notice I'm gone...; ) but knowing how I felt last summer makes it harder for me to jump into the summer again. It's just a test though, I know this. But I'm really excited to see all that God will do in our lives this summer.

I love you all soooo much. xoxoxo

a fine frenzy

So I titled this post like that not because of the singer, but really because it seems appropriate for my current (and likely fleeting) mood. I have been all over the place with my emotions today for whatever reason, everything seems to be happening at once; and yet, at present, I feel fine amid the frenzy of things to do. I feel grateful and joyful and...wow. Typing that made me realize that God has answered prayer for me. Love that!

Soooo that's Scotland. We should go there instead of the lake next year. Although Hannah Grace and I did already determine that Indian Lake is better than Chicago. In general. After all, "Indian Lake is Love" (wow, talk about blasphemy), right Heathie? Anyway, let me just say, ladies, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and we are so almost there. I pray for you all daily and I cannot wait to finally be home to catch up. In the meantime, keep pushin' girls (sorry, just watched The Business of Being Born). 

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:28-29

Also, two more things to cheer you up. One: the best prank ever was played at Cornerstone when four guys snuck into the library at night, stole the giant tree there, and planted it in the lawn outside for earth day. Two: I got a little bored in my Old Testament 3 hour class...below is the result. 

I was going to explain, but I think I'll let you all do that for me :) Love you!

e l i s a

Do they sell money trees on ebay?

Big, scary news for Heather. I just got a call from my parents informing me that as of next January, I will officially no longer be a dependent. Meaning that as soon as I finish my last class next J-term, I have to get my own medical insurance. Meaning that...I have to GROW UP and get a BIG-GIRL JOB! :O That just freaks me out. I don't want to be a big girl yet. Maybe I should just stay in school f.o.r.e.v.e.r.
Or not.

I've been looking at a lot of different volunteer abroad organizations, and they all seem so exciting! The most recent one I've been looking at is called World Teach, and it's located in a variety of countries (about 4 are Spanish-speaking). I would be teaching English language classes to kids or adults, and the commitment is about 11 months. This organization is great, because you just have to pay one initial fee and it covers airfare, housing, food, and...MEDICAL INSURANCE! Plus they give you a monthly stipend for living expenses. Out of those programs, the one I like the best is located in Colombia and it only costs $1000, which if you think about it -is a really great deal for a whole year. :)

I will admit, a part of me is hoping that this internship at The City Mission this summer (did I mention this to all of you yet?) will give me some direction about what I could do after graduation. I already know that assessment and developing surveys is something I like to do (yes, I know how nerdy that is), and I think an ideal job for me would be to work for a NPO like The City Mission. The only problem is that places like that aren't exactly growing money trees in their basements, and I don't think many of them could afford to pay me to assess their programs. But at least I will be able to test it out this summer and see if I like working in that kind of environment. Lisey, I owe your dad big time for this internship. It's making me actually look forward to the summer! Finally.

Katesters, I wish I could come home again to see you before you leave for Italia, but it looks like that won't be happening. :( But we will for sure need to have some phone chats before then. Twin, I've been thinking about you especially this week and I'm praying for you, chica. Lisey, it's been too long, so call me this weekend! I feel a little out of the loop. Actually, that goes for all of you -- I'm just chilling this weekend and I would love to hear from you!

Buenos noches, hermanas.

In His Hands,
Heather Grace

Sometimes, I just wish a herd of goats would come running towards me...

In less than a month, I will be in Italy. I'm trying to soak that in. I will be in Italy for twice as long as how long it is until I leave (was that sentence incredibly confusing?) Today I was sitting in Italian class (we're doing presentations this week) and people can bring in food for extra credit. So I got to eat lots of delicious Italian food, and listen to people give their presentations. Amber, a girl in my class, showed this video:

Apparently, sometimes in Italy, you will be just hanging out on your porch, and a herd of goats will come along. I doubt I'll have the pleasure of seeing this, since I'll be mostly in the big city, but seriously, I want to see this. I'd do fine not living near it though, because I hear that the goats make quite a mess when they come through. If you know what I mean.
Well, that's all I've really got to say for tonight.... ^_^
Have wonderful weeks; I'm praying for all of you and I miss you! Summer is just around the corner, and I know we can make it!

Love,
Kate

Well, we're apparently all on the same page...

I spent a big chunk of Saturday wandering around East Cleveland with my mom. (The Magnolias were blooming, and it was gorgeous! We hung out at the art museum, ate Thai food, and went shop hopping in Coventry... wish every day could be like that.) My mom has been giving me a lot of pep talks lately... not really sure why. She keeps going off on these rants about how wonderful and talented I am and how I am just who any employer worth their salt would for sure want to hire, etc. And it's not that I don't love the affirmation, but honestly, it puts me in this mode where I just want to charge in and take over the professional world and ace all of my classes and have success in every earthly sense of the word. And then I settle down my brain and realize that that is not what I want!
I want more than anything to find the niche that God has for me, and I'm sure there is one. I think I mentioned to each of you how I was on this web site that matches people up with different missions organizations that fit their skills and interests. Well, I've been getting a pretty much constant stream of contact from different organizations and it's been a great reminder that a) There is a need for missionaries everywhere on the planet, and b) I don't have to, and shouldn't forsake my skills to be one of them. The latter of these might seem obvious, but honestly, it's a new realization. I kind of thought that when you become a missionary you just proverbially pick up a hammer and start building, no matter what training you already have. False. If anything, from all of the responses I have gotten, I have learned that God wants me to use my gifts (imagine that!) to further his kingdom. This means that I can write for His glory, and talk to people for His glory, and heck, sing for His glory! And none of it will be perfect, but God can use it and He will!
It's been rough, but I'm really trying to shine light on every dark corner of my life, because it's no good trying to be a light if you're just sort of flickering on and off in a corner somewhere. As my school work [finally] is starting to lessen in quantity, I am just praying that God will fill me, because I am running on fumes here.
Else, thanks for the reminder that the Word is a weapon. My current religion class almost had me thinking that my logic is a weapon that can break down the Word-- I needed to be reminded that God's word stands no matter what around it crumbles.
To all of you, I think we need to try not to beat ourselves up too much. (I'm guilty of this too... I'm my own worst critic.) But we need to remember that as much as God wants to search us and blot out any sin, blotting out takes time, and in the mean time, we need to move forward and not dwell on our mistakes, otherwise they may start to control us, which I think is what we're trying to escape in the first place.
I love you ladies, and I'll talk to all of you soon!

~Kat[i]e

the Word is alive, and it cuts like a sword through the darkness...

I'm at work this morning, but for whatever reason I feel like this is more imperative than actually working. Maybe I just want that to be the case ;)

Well girls. It's been an interesting weekend for me. Frankly, I can't explain it publicly like this, but wow. I've just been thrown into a situation I never thought I'd be in, and need some major prayer if you girls think of it. I'm stressed out to the max, no longer with school really, just with this other life problem. Sorry to turn this blog into lists of urgent prayer requests, but it seems that I'm typically doing worse rather than better. Why is that? Why is it that have this inability to be joyful in situations and trust in God with them with a peaceful and content spirit? I get this overwhelming sense of a swell in irony whenever I read my email address and think "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance..." because I love this verse and I'd like for it to characterize me, but when a problem arises, I almost exclusively do the opposite and consider pure chaos, stress and disaster when I face trials. Funny how God has given me that verse as a sort of life verse when I suck so much at adhering to it. Fitting, really.

Heather, I know what you mean about selfishness. Boy, do I know. I always kind of lump that together with pride, and I've been saying for about 3 years that I'm basically certain that pride is really the root of every sin committed. It's a small wonder, then, that each of us struggles with this in some form or another. Ha, I am putting this in a "the world's inherently sinful" manner, aren't I? Sorry for that.
Hannah Grace, you can do it girl. Just keep telling yourself that summer break is a week away--that worked for spring break, right? ;) I'm right there with you though. This year and most of what came with it needs to be over. Thank the Lord we're close.
Kate - I'd say it's about time I called you...

Until then, I hope to all talk to you via phone at least. (This weekend was not a great one for returning phone calls.) Also until then, I plan to spend more time in the Word, which has become more of a book of bedtime stories to me than a sword. You know, in church we looked at the armor Paul writes about in Ephesians and I realized the Word of God is the ONLY thing there that is given to us as a weapon. It is the only way we can fight offensively against sin. So I've been thinking, "wow. What the heck have I been doing all these years?" So I'm planning to put scripture to memory again. If any of you want to join me, let me know. I'd love to work on that with you all.

Sorry to talk forever again. I love you women (I almost said girls, but you really are not girls anymore) so much and literally thank God for you daily. I can't express how grateful I am for each of you.

In Christ's Infinite Grace,
Elisa

Thoughts from The Selfish One

Dear Beady[s],
I'm just going to write a quick blog to share with you what is on my mind today. Basically, I had a realization last night that is simple, old, but essential for me to keep in mind. I am a selfish person. I don't just mean that in the typical "yeah, mankind is sinful and inherently selfish" way; but specifically, me - Heather, I am a selfish person. In fact, I think selfishness is the sin that I struggle with the most. I've been aware of this fact for at least the past 6 years, but every once in awhile (like last night), I need to be reminded of it. This selfishness affects not only my thoughts, but my actions, my relationships, and other sins with which I struggle. I came to this conclusion by also realizing that this past week I have been indulging in my loneliness and depressed feelings. I have just sat by and allowed the feelings to take over, and then I throw myself a pity party and expect others to attend. A lot of this goes on only in my mind, but still, it is sinful and wrong. I know that the condition of my spiritual life is correlated with all other areas of my life, but it is so easy to forget that! My feelings this past week were definitely a reflection of my relationship with God during that time ---> poor. However, I think God finally got through to me during my devotions last night. A little slap on the side of the head is always good for growth. Well, I guess that is all I have to share for now.

I hope you each had a refreshing weekend and are ready to face another Monday! I love you all.
Your sister,
Heather Grace

Dazed and Confused

Alright girls...it needs to be summer..now. I already feel like it's been forever since I've seen you all (mainly Heather and Elisa). This past week (Elisa, as you know) your parents were out of town so Brittany is staying with me. Its been really fun getting to hangout with her, but at the same time I've been super stressed out just..because I feel like there is so much I need to get done. Sometimes/most of the time, I procrastinate not because I'm lazy...but because there is literally soo much going through my head that I can't sort it all out and I end up not knowing where to even start. That presents a problem however as I am nearing my last few tests here.

On top of allll of this, I have been feeling very distant from God. I keep catching myself going to other people/myself to try and solve my problems new and old instead of going straight to the one who can actually help me. For some reason though, that's been really hard to do especially with all of these new obstacles I seem to be facing lately. It's crazy how quickly a new struggle can creep into your heart as soon as you slightly push God away. Basically, that's what I've been dealing with these past couple months. Yes, I should just lift these things up to God..but in the mean time..is there something else I should be doing? Yea...searching His word for truth...being in communication with Him...but what else? I just feel helples..which I am, I know...but it's getting really frustrating. I'm just so confused and lost right now with one thing in particular that I just don't seem to be able to let go of.

Anyways, I just want school to be over. I know it will be in a few short weeks here..but everyday just seems to drag on and on now. I'm tired a lot (like you Heather, I think we discussed this ha), but not in a sad way really...I'm just always exhausted for no reason. Though I'm not sad...maybe my frustration with sin is what's exhausting me to no end. Well chicas, I hope you three are all doing well and hang in there with whatever you're having a hard time with. I will be of course, praying for you all.

Infinite X's and O's,
Hannah Grace

"Oh the glory that the Lord has made and the complications you could do without..."

Oh my. Lisey, I am watching the Gem Sweater video right now, and I honestly don't know if I've ever seen anything so innocent that made me feel so violated! Is that girl supposed to be actually singing the song? Or is this some popular 80's hit that I totally missed the boat on? Haha, either way - thank you for sharing.

I apologize, ladies, for waiting so long to update this blog. It's been awhile since I had the time to just sit down and breathe, let alone write down my thoughts. But FINALLY it is Friday and my hell week is over! I don't know what happened, but I'm pretty sure my professors sat down together and decided to overwhelm me all at once after 9 weeks of ease. But I don't want to complain, because here I am all in one piece on a beautiful 70 degree Friday afternoon. :)

Aside from my workload, something else has been going on inside me lately. Friends, I think I am getting depressed again. It's not just a little sadness that happens from time to time, but it's this overwhelming feeling of loneliness, sadness, and lack of motivation that makes it hard to get excited about anything. All I want to do is lie in bed and sleep, and not just because I am tired. No, in truth, I want to lie in bed and just be held. Is that too honest for me to write on a public blog? Well, it's the truth either way. I think maybe I am feeling the more negative effects of breaking up. I miss being held, that feeling of comfort, and the knowledge that someone loves me and wants to be with me. I guess I'm just at a place of total vulnerability right now. I miss the companionship of guys (I don't have many guy friends here), and I'm struggling to find a way to remedy that.

Oh and another thing, I have this impossible [new] crush (and it's not who you may be thinking). I think that may be making my loneliness worse - knowing that nothing can happen with him. It's strange though, because he is exactly the kind of man I would want to be with. But seriously, I KNOW that there is no future with him, and I guess that makes me sad. I really want to snap out of this bought of depression, especially since it is finally turning into spring! Maybe I should go to the counseling center. Meh, what do you girls think?

Also, I'm REALLY getting the urge to travel. Like I'm about ready to buy plane tickets to a random European country just to experience something new. Any suggestions? :)

Se amo mucho, mis hermanas! Espero que se vea pronto! (I hope that I see you soon!)
Heather Grace

The LIGHT is coming soon!

I was beginning to feel like I was neglecting you ladies.....
Obviously Else felt that way too.
Maybe it's because I actually talked to most of you recently, so I felt no need to post here. Isn't THAT a good feeling?

Tonight was a good night. I had 707 lifegroup, which, to be honest, I haven't enjoyed for the past few weeks (if there are any 707ers reading this, sorry, but hear me out). We've been reading this book called UnChristian, which is written by Christians who did all this research about what people who aren't Christians perceive about people who are. To be honest, this book has been depressing me, and not really in a good-call-to-action kind of way. Not only that, but we've been reading it out loud during the study, since there are only 2 copies, and usually after about an hour of listening to people read various statistics aloud, I start to lose interest. There is discussion scattered around in there, and a lot of profound things have been said, but mostly I feel like the book is just nitpicking at all of the church's problems, which are very real, but doesn't really offer any practical solutions. To add to that, we tend to be getting this attitude: something along the lines of, "those Christians are screwing it up for the rest of us good Christians who actually want to make a difference." I want to be clear here. The people who go to this bible study are genuine, wonderful people. They are serious about following Christ.
I think it's easy for us, as Christians to get caught up in this idea that we are somehow superior to others because we think we have better intentions. But we're part of the group! For the most part, we should just take responsibility for the shortcomings of the group, even if they aren't the same as our own shortcomings, because plenty of our own problems define the problems of the group in other areas. (I feel like that might have been confusing. Let me give an example: Just because I personally don't stand in front of abortion clinics doesn't mean that I should think that I'm any better than people who do, because I give Christians a bad name by things that I do too...)
This reminds me of a part of Blue Like Jazz where Donald Miller and his pipe-smoking cohorts set up a confessional in the middle of the campus of Reed College, but rather than ask other people to confess, they confess to the people, essentially apologizing for all the wrongs that Christians have done over the ages. I think the reason I don't like this book is that I feel like it doesn't address the problem, and it just gives rise to pride in us because most of the things it is addressing are not things that I feel responsible for. The book makes me feel like a "better Christian" and I know full well that I'm not.
So tonight, we diverged from reading the book, and T-Fiz, one of the guys from 707, just went through a bunch of verses that have been on his heart in the past week, and as he brought one up, we just read it and talked about it. It was really cool to just have other Christians as a sounding board and just be reminded that scripture is true, relevant, and uplifting. For the first time in several weeks, I didn’t check the clock in the middle of bible study. And it was also one of the first weeks in a while that we’ve actually studied the bible in bible study. Revolutionary, I know.
Anyway, it’s around 1:30 am now, and my brain is fried, so I’ll sign off on that note.I love you ladies!Have wonderful refreshing weekends, and remember, the light is coming soon (I’m sort of ambiguously referring to Jesus, and the end of the semester… haha)

Love,
Kate

Take a brrreaaaak already!

Girls. It is officially the first unofficial day of spring in my mind today. Gorgeous blue sky, warm sunshine, and of course, a good measure of Grand Rapids wind. (Did I awaken your senses?) It's really not easy to concentrate on working under fluorescent lights behind a computer screen when the world outside has so much more to offer. I keep telling myself, "only three more weeks!" which has actually become just over 2 weeks (plus a week of finals) 'til I'm all wrapped up and home at last!

Not much to say really, except that I love you all and am disappointed at the fact that I am posting two blogs in a row. Come on people. It's been five days. Screw the homework and keep me informed! Ha, seriously though, don't quit your school work. That'd be a bad use of money. I know I have to tell you all that.

Anyway, take a break from your studies and check out these videos. The weird sweater lady is compliments of my sister, who actually went to this lady's concert. The other video is just unbelievable to me--how delusional do you have to be to jump into a polar bear exhibit?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypn436DFTUQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ61qi-Sptg


(I couldn't figure out how to actually get the videos on here. Teach me, Katie!)
Praying for you all and I love you so much!

E L I S A

"I'll be Bach!" (says Jesus?)

"He has risen!" Well, it's Good Friday and we're singing for what seems like the 900th time the "St. Matthew's Passion" by J. S. Bach with choir (aka the love of my life...yeahhh...). I'm getting a little disturbed because the piece is literally the Gospel according to Matthew in song, but I can't sit still while we're singing. It loses a lot of meaning when you sing it 97 times and are told over and over "no, no. The notes have to leap like this because, as you can see, if you draw a line between the notes and flip the staff on its side, it makes a cross...well, sort of. Basically, Bach is a genius." 

Happy Easter weekend to you all though! I will be spending mine at school, which will be a nice change of pace from the constant intrusions of people on my personal time. Call me selfish, but I need alone time. Especially with the Lord. Man, my prayer life is so sucky lately. Matt and I realized last night that we've practically stopped praying together completely - something we've always taken very seriously. It's funny how being at a Christian school challenges your faith; not because of the professors and chapels, but because you learn just how big of a self-righteous, judgmental idiot you can be. So the question becomes, will you keep patting yourself on the back for not being 'as bad as those people who claim to be Christians but are doing ____(fill in the blank),' or will you take the opportunity to be a learner and leader for Christ, building up those brothers and sisters who are falling and making use of your resources in a Christian environment?  So far, I have shot after the former. Let's face it, selfishness is easier than selflessness. 

So in light of the Easter season, I have done nothing at all except been hit with a ton of bricks stamped with the word 'basics.' I couldn't sleep the other night thinking about how little I attempt to thank Jesus for literally becoming the thing he hates the most so I could live the life (laced with pettiness and mistakes) I do now. I keep looking to give him more, but I realize that I've failed in the most basic of regions. While lying awake, I decided to write. "So here I am, where I was to begin with/ just a child questioning her existence/ I never thought I'd be back to the basics/ can you teach me how not to be faithless?" 

The picture at the top was after I decided word art would be fun on my hand. It's just a reminder that I've been made new, and I don't have to live as a slave anymore. I am in constant need of a reminder that I have a saviour who is much greater than my problems or even my failures. He has risen indeed.  

Whale Farms and Other Silly Nuisances

Hellloo Sistas! Ok, soo I leave the blogging world for what..2 days and all of a sudden I have soo much work to do! What the crunk?! Let's see...what's been going on in my life? Well..Elisa I definitely know what your saying about being about to give up on college. I am getting so ADD lately and it's been extremely hard for me to consentrate in my classes. I'm just truckin though though, I should be fine. : ). Also, as at least two of you know..I've gotten more creeps than ever (one, in the middle of a frickin blizzard..and two, at like..8 in the morning!) Another day in the life..thats alllll i can say to that.

Also, I've been having increasingly crazier and crazier dreams every night either involving Mexico (thats what they are for the most part), or just random people. I also had my first nightmare in a lonnng time. It was super creepy, I actually woke up going AH!. Yea. I felt like I was about five. Other than that, I am just so excited for this summer. Not only the going to Mexico part..and then being there alll summer, but believe it or not I am also pumped about the coming back part. haha. I know that sounds weird, but now that I know how excited I'll be to hop on that plane and know that I'll be able to see the three of you..I can already have that to look forward to.

Oasis has been going very well. We started a new study with allll of the girls combined so they are really glad to be able to engage with more of their friends at once. And for this particular study it's definitely a good thing. We are going through the book Lies Young Women Believe, and though I read it earlier this year actually..it's still been a good weekly reminder and I also look forward to hearing what the girls are thinking as they read through it. Especially because one of the girls last week said, ''I wish we could meet more than once a week!" So as you can imagine..us leaders were shocked, in a good way though. haha. Well, I know this is a short one..but I better run!

Elisa- I love I love you...oh yea..I love you. Your mom is hilarious. haha? I will continue praying for you sister.
Heather- Dont worry twin, I think I'm the shallow one out of the four of us. lol. I just talk about my always random life. It's like a hit and run everytime I do write. I cant wait for you to come home..tomorrow!! Huzzah! I love you!
Katesters- I am soo sad/annoyyed that there is no whale farm. Not that I condoned the mass breeding/slaughtering of whales...but it just sounded funny/scary! I was intrigued! Thanks for the crane! I love you!

We wait for the rain, and the promise remains.

So, if you recall, I decided to make sure to give myself time in the next several weeks to do something simply for the enjoyment of it. Hopefully this will lift my spirits.
Yesterday, I managed to find a few things to do. I spent the morning painting and listening to the new CD by Josh Garrels (Check out his song Jacaranda Tree... I'm a little obsessed.)

And then at dinner, my friend Yayoi asked my other friend Andrea and I if we wanted to learn how to make origami cranes, which is something I've always wanted to be able to do, but have never been successful at. I said, "I don't think I can... my fingers are probably too big or something." She looked at my fingers and said simply, "No. I don't think so." So we spent probably an hour drinking tea & making cranes; each of us made 2. Now that I've got the hang of it, I think it's pretty therapeutic... and it's really fulfilling to finish one :) (I named my cranes Leila and Stewart. They are the last picture here.)






Also, I filled in my little whiteboard calendar a few days ago. It's a six week calendar. And leaving for Rome gets to be on there.... AHHH!!! I can't believe that in less than a month and a half, I will be across the Atlantic Ocean!!! It's seriously so surreal.


I also want to say how much I've loved having this blog... It is so nice to feel like I know what is going on in each of your lives, and reading your posts helps me to know how to pray for you, and it helps me feel like there aren't so many miles between us, which is something I haven't really felt in a while. I miss you ladies! Baccione! (Big Kisses)

~Kate

And this too shall be made right

So, I recently came to this realization about myself. I realized that I am constantly looking ahead, and very rarely do I live in the present. (I shouldn't take full credit for this realization. I was talking to someone about the Meyers-Briggs recently, and she grew up with a mom who was a counselor, and so she knew exactly what I meant when I said I was an ENFP/J, and she said, "That explains a lot." And she proceeded to ask me some questions that led me to this conclusion.) I've probably been doing this my whole life. But lately it manifests itself in my desire to be away from Viking Hall. I want nothing more than to be done with this semester, and yes, go to Italy, and then live at home. I honestly never thought I'd get to this point, where I wanted to move back in with my parents, but lately, being at home is one of the only things that recharges me. And I'm pretty sure that once I've been at home for a while, I'll get sick of that too, and want nothing more than to leave and go to the mission field. I'm convinced I get this from my mom, who has had more careers than anyone I know. I think the reason I'm like this is because I am constantly reevaluating my life, and figuring out how I can make it better. (side note: Else, you do this too... which explains you last 2 posts...) And usually my solution for making it better is to make some drastic change, like moving, or switching jobs. My goal, my Easter resolution, if you will, is to do one thing every week until the end of the school year that helps me to enjoy the here and now. This should be manageable, since there are only six weeks left!

Elsebeth, I am so glad you are starting to share your music! Who knows how God will use it and you, but I know he already has (think LRA...).

Heathie, I'm praying for your family every day... Sandy said at church that Bethany and Jordan were coming over for dinner, or having Sandy and Steve over, or something, and I thought it sounded like a step in the right direction :)

Hanner, I'm sorry there's no whale farm, sort of.

Much love :)

Just another long-winded post from Miss Disobedient

Hi girls, I hope I find you all well. Heather, I'm glad I could be a destressor to you. I wasn't certain I would be, what with the acid trip musical and the 90 trips down Monroe street in GR. How are you two doing, Kate and Hannah Grace? 

Do any of you feel like you're just about ready to give up on college? Man, this week is going to be nuts for me. So much work and so little time to do it, especially with all the choir activities we have set up revolving around Maundy Thursday (apparently this holiday exists--who's Maundy?) and Good Friday (a celebration about which there is nothing particularly 'good' so much as necessary--I suppose 'Necessary Friday' or 'Crucifixion Day' or 'HEY! Jesus died for you! Day' are not really so calendar friendly). There's so much to do that I'm finding it pretty easy to focus on school and not on Easter--or better yet, Jesus. (Why is it that Christ is always the first thing to go when scheduling becomes crowded?) My mom of course called to remind me that I should share 'Glory to the Lamb' (the song I wrote for Good Friday last year) with people on campus, but I don't know that I have a forum to do that. That leads me to another thing though...

I think God is trying to tell me something about my music (I'm smirking as I'm typing this because I know he's been nudging me for over a year and I just keep ignoring it 'til times like now). This past week, my Old Testament class went over Joshua and Judges, my teacher pressing over and over how we had to use the gifts God's given us for his glory and how they weren't meant for us to just sit on or use for ourselves. Also last week, Matt asked me if I'd been writing at all, which he hardly ever asks. Over the weekend, Heather, you asked me what I was doing with my music and told me to get my butt in gear. And then last night, my mom said "Elisa, people really need to hear this" and kept asking what I was waiting for and saying how Sara Groves told me that she always at least had a CD available just in case she met someone. I keep coming up with excuses not to record or not to make myself known, and frankly I'm not sure why, but I'd say God's making himself a little clearer. Since I haven't been hearing from the Lord lately, I just wrote a song about waiting on God. In reality, he's probably the one waiting on me. Perhaps he's the one singing "It seems like years since we laughed/ and I'm sure it's been days since I heard your voice/ and the pain and the hurt of missing you/ come tumbling down on my back/ So I will wait for you/ I'll wait..." 

Pray God would keep nudging me--punching me if he has to--'til I'm finally obedient. If you guys could hold me accountable to that, it'd be much appreciated. I literally just shared my music for the first time with anyone at school. I love you girls so much and am sincerely discovering more each day just how incredibly blessed I am to have three best friends that love the Lord and stand firm in their faith. 

No news is good news, right?

Well, I just returned from a wonderful weekend with Miss Elisa (as my mom likes to call her/you), and I'm slowly settling back into life. It was so refreshing to get away for a few days and pretty much debrief from everything that has been on my mind lately. This past week was really rough, and I honestly don't remember living Monday-Friday. I was totally zoned out. But, I feel a lot better now emotionally and physically (my cold magically disappeared! and Grandma is almost gone). So thank you, Lisey, for being an awesome friend and caring for me this weekend! It was exactly what I needed.

On another note, I should fill you in on the latest with my family feud. The last I heard, my sister and her hubby were going over to my parents' house this afternoon to basically have a confrontation. I talked to my sis a few days ago, and it sounded like they had planned out all that they wanted to say to my parents. She said that she would call me afterwards, but it is now 11:44 pm and I still have no word from anyone. I didn't want to call, just in case I would be interrupting something, so I'm still waiting. No news is good news, though, right? I have literally been praying for them all day. I broke down (crying, not the car) on the drive back to school, and I guess I am still on emotional overload. So, keep praying for me and my family if you think of it. I'm really praying that this whole situation would lead to healing and reconciliation for the past and the present. *deep sigh*

Alright, I'm going to try and get some sleep for once. I love you all to pieces and I'll see some(?) of you next weekend! Buenos noches.

Sorry for the cocroaches Hannah Grace. At least there weren't any scorpions in the 'co. You have that to look forward to. Katesters, I am so glad you posted those. I only wish Cornerstone's internet was faster so I could actually watch them...oh well. Maybe at work tomorrow :) By the way, I heard a rumor they're making a Where the Wild Things Are movie. I looked it up to be sure. Here's the trailer. For some reason this one did happen to work at school.

So I was journaling today and I realized I have not taken time to sit down and do that in a long time, so I inevitably and predictably had about a thousand questions and comments and frustrations floating in my mind that I did not discover until this afternoon when I finally put pen to paper. This is how my mind works. I don't even know that I'm thinking things till I either say them or start writing. Maybe this is why I always struggle to keep my opinion out of my writing at work.

More or less I discovered I am in a quandry. I am not sure if I am not hearing from God--and have not heard from him in ages it seems--because I am not seeking him well enough or if it is just a matter of patience. I'm getting frustrated because I'm reading Captivating (yes, still--it's taking forever) and she talks about pursuing God and loving him because he does that for us, but I'm discovering I don't know at all what that means. There's a point where Bible reading and routine prayer becomes nothing more than an imitation of pursuit. How am supposed to chase after God? What does that look like? Especially in light of the fact that try as I might I can never seem to make the command of continual prayer remotely a reality, and when, also try as I might, I can never seem to live a life in complete submission to God. I literally don't know how. I feel like a liar whenever we sing "I Surrender All" at chapel because I don't surrender all. I would like to (or at least most of me would like to), but I literally do not know what that looks like. Am I supposed? Or is that something we only strive toward until and never meet until we see our Saviour in heaven? Sorry for the spiritual deluge I've burdened you all with. But I figure this is the most important part of my life so I feel justified in asking questions.

This has been some start to our blogging days, eh everyone? Who knew we'd be so deep and sincere and serious. I'm glad for it though. I feel like I'm much more connected to the three of you while at physical distance, a prospect I like very much. I love you girls so much and thank God for you daily.

~Elisa~

LIVE, DANCE, COCHROACH!!!

Ohh myy gosh!! Katie I love those videos. You can of courrse count on my to be up to date with awesome old videos like that. (even though I've never seen Chity chity bang bang) but..that looks creepy anyways. I mean..a child snatcher? really.
Alright, well..this tease of nice weather is once again making me procrastinate like a fellon. It's alright though..I need to soak up this sun while it lasts! So I feel like everyone around me is getting sick again. I have no idea how I keep dodging these epidemics! I usually get sick so easily. However, I hope you get better Twin so that you can fully enjoy your time with Elisa! And I am glad that you seem to be over your disease Elisa, ha. EEwww!!! There is a dead baby cochroach on the basement floor right now..eww eww. ok, sorry..ughh..gross now i'm paranoid. I'm afraid this blog is gonna have to be cut short. haha.
Katie those videos lifted my spirit so thanks! haha. Twin, I love you and hope you get better quickly. I will continue to be praying for you with the whole family feud. Annd I will definitely go live on a beach with you somewhere. haha. sounds like a plan. Elisa, call me tonight love. I miss you!

p.s.- I am so thankful for all three of you!
p.s.s.- Katie! I am soo proud that you admitted you were wrong! Now I dont feel so insane! lol Oh, and I am very glad that the Bennech's are allowing you to stay with them! (i think i totally just spelled their name wrong). oops!

Just for fun...

Two posts in a row? I think so.

Thursday mornings are my ultimate relaxation time, because I have nothing to do till one, and I work till 2 am the night before, so I always sleep in, wake up just in time for Gilmore Girls, and then lounge around my room for a while. This morning, while lounging, I took a trip down memory lane. I'm going out on a limb here. Because I am about to post the videos that I watched on YouTube, hoping that I'm not the only one that grew up watching these over and over again. I'm at least going to assume that everyone read the book Where the Wild Things Are.

"In time you need to learn to love the ebb just like the flow."

Ciao Bell'Amiche! (Hey pretty lady friends... sounds better in Italian)

Well, the past 48 hours have been on the upswing for me. *Breathe a deep sigh of relief*
Yesterday I had a relaxing and refreshing day. My friend Katie had her first prayer meeting at CSU. The weather was beautiful, and there were only four of us, so we went in front of the science building where there are these big grassy hills and we prayed for about an hour and a half. This kind of prayer doesn't happen all that often for me, but I must say, it was what I needed. Sitting there for that long with the spirit clearly with us was so wonderful. We spent a lot of time praying for the university, and I was reminded that it is OK to ask God for big things. I always forget that nothing is a challenge for God. We asked God to bring leaders to CSU who are Christian. And I always forget that asking for things like that is OK.... After that Katie, her friend Ashley, and I walked around campus. Ashley had never been to campus so we were giving her a tour. We went into this little gallery in the Urban Studies Building that I never knew existed. And in that gallery there was a new photo exhibit (just opened this week) that had all pictures of Columbia!!! (This was crazy to me because I had just read Else's article about Columbia and had been praying for that country a few days ago, so I love when I get nudges like that. It's like God saying, "Hey, Katie, keep praying...")
Another awesome thing happened yesterday. It might seem minuscule to you, but to me, it was a big thing. The Bennetches told me I could stay with them. So I know you're probably thinking, "I thought they said that a long time ago..." Well, sort of. I had been getting kind of worried about that, honestly. I think because every time I've actually talked to them, we've been really dancing around big questions like, "Can I stay with you and when can I stay and for how long?" Or at least I felt like that. The last time I talked to Brian he said I probably couldn't stay with them, but that he'd try to work something out... which to me didn't sound optimistic. So I had been mentally preping myself for leaving Roma after 5 weeks. Eh... these things happen. But Monday night I sent Brian an e-mail. It started short, like the rest of our e-mails. And then I was thought maybe it would be good for me to share why I actually want to go to Italy, and why I am going into missions. I think this got skipped over because for a little bit, Jim & Cindy Whiteman were talking to the Bennetches more about me than I was talking to them. So all parties involved felt like all the info was out there. But I realized that for me to want to stay with them, they should know my motives, right?
So here's a bit of the e-mail I sent.
Also, I thought I would share a little bit of my heart with you, because in all of our communications, I feel like that has been a little lacking. Over the past six months or so, I have been grappling with the idea of missions after graduation. I say grappling because I feel very confident that God has called me to it, but I am still trying to figure out what that means for me, for my parents, for my finances, for my education, and for so many other areas of life. Since I first felt God calling me to missions I have had so many emotions swirling inside of me: fear, excitement, anxiousness, confusion, doubt, certainty... you name it; I've probably felt it. I've also heard a number of things from God as to where I should be: Rome, England, India, the Middle East... I went through this period where I constantly was hearing God say, "Katie, you need to be OK with it if I send you to (insert location)." It started with Rome, just for this summer and now it's basically anywhere on the planet for as little as 1 year after graduation and as much as the rest of my life. Part of me keeps wanting to limit what God can do by taking control of the situation, partly because I feel the need to have an answer for people when I hear the dreaded question, "What are your plans after graduation?" I keep having to remind myself of Galatians1:10 (Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ). That has been sort of my fall back verse for the year; I am constantly trying to make myself look a certain way to my friends, family, coworkers, and professors, but really all that matters is how I look to Christ!
Anyhow, the point of that rant was to say that one of the reasons I am so excited to be in Roma this summer is that I am longing to be completely immersed in what God is doing there and how He is using the Christians there. I also am so excited to spend some time with you and Sarah, even if that time is limited, because as silly as it may sound, I can't wait to spend time with "real missionaries" (I laughed out loud while typing that...). I didn't grow up knowing that missionaries even existed, so the idea is pretty fresh in my head. I really look forward to seeing what your day to day routine is like, and hearing things that you learned over the years of starting in new places with new languages and even just logistical things like support raising and finding an organization to work with!

I put that in because I didn't know if I've totally shared all of that with all of you, but there it is. Anyhow, yesterday I got an e-mail back from Brian basically saying, "Thank you for that, and you can stay with us the whole time. There may be a couple of tricky days, but we'll work it out." Whew.
And on that note, Else, I may be going with you and your family and the Bennetches to Florence.... Can't wait!!!
SO basically, yesterday was a wonderful day. And today, well, I don't know if there's a word that is like aftermath, but is positive, but today was the positive aftermath of yesterday. And now, I am working at the desk till 2, so I get a good long reflection time, haha!
Well, that was a long post, but, oh well...
I love you girls, I miss you, and I'll see you at Easter (at least Hannie and Heathie, Else... are you coming home?)
Love love love!
~Kate

Matt Damon's Linen Pants

I feel like I am going crazy. Since I've been back at school, I feel like I am floating through each day with my head a million miles away. I can't focus on classes or anything going on around me, and I want to sleep all the time. Seriously, I think this is the most unmotivated I have been all year, possibly since starting college. Also, I officially have a cold...and GRANDMA just came to town! So, pretty much every part of my body hurts right now. Meh.

I'm really not trying to have a pity party, but if you guys want to join me, you are definitely invited. :) Anyway, I don't know exactly why I am so unmotivated this week. Maybe it's because my emotions are run so dry from this family feud. Or maybe it's because the future is drawing inevitably closer and I'm running as far away from it as possible. All I know is that I would like to be anywhere but here right now. You know how in the end of The Bourne Identity, Matt Damon finds the chick working in that cute little shop on the beach and he walks in wearing linen pants with a light breeze blowing through them? I want to be wearing those linen pants on that beach. Well, make it a cotton dress. I want to work in a cute little shop, selling something really lame to tourists, and spend my nights sleeping in a hammock on the front porch of my cottage (with NO mosquitos, of course). Do you think that could be arranged?

Can someone please remind me why I am spending all this money on a "good" education (living in a cornfield) when all I want to do is wear white dresses everyday, get slightly sunburnt, and have Matt Damon walk into my shop wearing white linen pants? Anyone want to come with me?

Lisey, I can't wait to see you this weekend. I need some TLC and I sincerely apologize if I just break down.
I love you all very much. Besos y Abrazos.