Some stories and reflections

While looking through some old journal entries this week, I was realizing how some of the things that I had started praying for months ago have recently been answered in ways I didn’t necessarily expect. I was looking at some journaling I did at Urbana, mostly about my feelings, fears, and expectations about my future in international missions. I don’t think I knew what I was really writing then, because I don’t remember feeling particularly convicted by any of it. But regardless, God has been so faithful in bringing those things to fruition right here at Laura’s home. When I was at Urbana, Laura’s Home was not even really on my radar, and yet, here I am living missionally, and doing ministry incarnationally.
I wrote, “I want to dwell with people of the world who do not know the Lord.” Here I am, quite literally dwelling with people from all different backgrounds. Some know the Lord. Some don’t. One of the coolest things about living here, is that even in the past three weeks, I have seen transformation happen before my eyes. I have seen people coming in the doors for the first time, looking exhausted, and scared out of their minds. I have seen those same people settle in, meet make-shift friends, learn the ropes, and something in their eyes changes. They don’t look scared anymore. I had one woman tell me that here, when she comes back at the end of the day, she feels safe. She feels safe with her little boy. She says she can’t remember the last time she felt really safe.
I’ve seen ups and downs. One woman will be dancing and singing in chapel one day, and the next, she will break down, and tell me that she just needs out of here. She can’t take it. She wants to spend all her money, rent a car, and drive as far as possible. She’s still here, though, taking it day by day. I read her that verse in Lamentations about the Lord’s compassions being new every morning, and she literally wept.
I wrote, “I want to humble myself before others, and realize my own insignificance as I help them see their worth in the eyes of the creator.” It’s funny, humility was one of the things I wrote about the most at Urbana, but I don’t remember giving it much thought at all after I got back. Then, a few weeks before I left for Laura’s Home, I started praying and asking God what I ought to pray for before I came here. The clear and resounding answer: humility. Not boldness, or wisdom, or knowledge, or sweet evangelism skills. Humility.
And this week, the Lord is teaching more about love. I seriously love so many people here. There is this new woman here who must be less than 5 feet tall, with long greying hair, who walks around looking very confused and she shakes a lot. Last night, I saw her and just asked her how she was settling in. She gave a nondescript answer, and I didn’t think much of the encounter. But today, she sought me out, and asked to talk to me. She was very vulnerable with me, and needed help with something, and I was the only person who she felt comfortable asking. I got her what she needed, and she broke down in tears and I bent down and gave her this long hug and she kissed me on the cheek. I was overcome with compassion and love for her, because I realized that never in my life have I had to be completely alone. Satan has tried to convince me that I’m alone, but I never have been. This woman is utterly alone. Or she was. And I just want to show her love in every way possible so that she will know that she isn’t alone anymore.
I have a hundred more stories in my journal and in my head, all of which point to the Lord's amazing provision and compassion, but this blog is getting long. I’ll just say that the Lord is working here. There is nothing stagnant about this place. I’m getting stirred up. And I love it.
With the precious love of Christ,
Kate

Makeover?

Ok girls. Not to sound restless, but...I'm restless. I'm getting gloomy every time I see our blog with that gray and blue. It's very winter. You girls up for changing things around? Blogger's got some new options/maybe Kate could show one of us how to get all those templates she found (since I know you will hardly have time to makeover our blog, Kate). What do you all think? We could be as cool as this:

...yep, that's what pops up when you type in "cool" on google images. Well, that, a picture of a dog wearing pants and a headshot of L.L. Cool J. Whatever happened to him?

So extreme makeover blog edition? What do y'all think?

Chchchch-changes!

Okay, I honestly haven't checked this blog in weeks, so I had no idea that people were actually updating! I was pleasantly surprised to find blogs from all of you since I had last checked. Yay. Now to update you on my life...that is not an easy task. There are so many changes occurring right now that I don't even know where to begin. It seems like my life has not settled into a routine since I graduated college! Just when I thought a pattern may be developing, big changes happened again (neither of which I am complaining about). First, as most readers already know, I got engaged!! I am completely thrilled to be marrying the guy I've had feelings for since the 8th grade (which seems to be a trend around here...watch out Kate and Hannah). :) Gosh it feels good to be getting ready to marry him. But, of course along with that comes the stress of wedding planning. Every one of my friends who got married in the last couple years prepared me for this, and yet I haven't felt quite as overwhelmed as many of them seemed to be - with the exception being every time I look at The Knot website! According to The Knot, I have only completed 37 of my 152 "to do" list. Awesome, thanks for making me feel even more behind. Anyhoo, I am happy to say that despite The Knot's opinion, I feel fairly on top of the wedding planning. Toby and I are working on our registry this week, which is pretty fun, but has made me realize how little I have thought about the design for our future apartment. It would be nice if one of us had a strong opinion about lamps or blenders...

Another big piece of news is: I am switching jobs! Lisey, you don't know that yet, but I was planning on telling you when we finally stop playing phone tag. I know I've only been at my current job for two months, but last week I got called from a place where I interviewed in March that was not hiring at the time of my interview. They called and offered me a job right then and there! It's with a different mental health organization, and the job is a combination of social work and psychology. I will have a caseload consisting of clients with a wide range of needs, and I will work with them individually on issues like: job training, communication, social skills, mental health issues, parenting, finances, etc. This job is a Monday through Friday 9-5 job (as opposed to my ridiculously unpredictable schedule now), it pays more, has better benefits, and the work is a lot more in line with what I want to do. My current job has been fine, I don't hate it, but since I completed training and started the actual job - I realized that it's pretty boring. Aside from Sundays when I am at the residential center, I am only at the worksites "supervising" janitors who already know what they're doing and rarely have any issues. I basically get paid to sit online, play solitaire, and occasionally walk around the building and check in with people. I know, I know - some people would love getting paid to do nothing, but it just isn't my dream job, and this new offer was too good to pass up. I start my new job on June 21!

Well, that's the news update for now. Call me, beadies, if you want to chat more in depth. I miss you like crazy.

Love you all,

Heather Grace

This Blog Comes With A Preface.

So this blog comes with a preface. I wold like to start out by saying that my reasons for this post are all wrong. I felt guilty about not having posted in forever..I don't want to see another blog titled "Where is Hannah Grace?", and I am not writing because I have anything of particular importance to say. However, seeing as though you women are three of my best friends everr...I figured you would enjoy a glance into my life regardless. : )

I have been extremely antsy. Not only is this my first summer home/in the country in the past two years, but you are all nottt so close to me anymore. (Directionally that is.) It's really strange..as soon as summer really began for me this year, THAT is when I fully realized how busy and productive I had been the two previous summers. Kind of like I don't know howw sleep deprived I am until..I sleep in till 4pm the following day, lol. Anyways, I have been going to Cleveland just about every afternoon for my Criminology class which, as I told Elisa, is not exactly a challenge for me. We don't have anyy work to complete outside of class..we have an exam every other week..(which are ridiculously easy), and there ya go. The class is really interesting and my professor is awesome, I havve been learning new things. (Including; The state of Ohio houses the largest number of serial killers in the entire country). Whaaattt a shocker. When I'm not in class..I work some, and catch some sun. I'm just glad that I have Sara here with me! : )

Ok, enough with the downer Hannah vibes. I suppose I shouldn't be complaining about this summer (even though it NEEEDSS to get hotter!! What the krunk?! Is this how it's been when I was gone?) Given my ridiculous amounts of free time, I have been reading like a madwoman, drawing (which is something I sorta slowed down on this past year), and spending time with my family. It's definitely going to be a summer of self reflection which is good..but can also be scary when I feel like I haven't had time this whole year to slow down and evaluate myself. Girls, I miss you all veryy much. It's gonna take a while for me to really process how different things are going to be for all of us now. We are all in totally different kinds of dynamics now, but I know that we'll be ok. : ) I'm praying for you three all the time. I love youu!!

p.s. -Call if you want any new creeper stories. I'm not even thinking of any in particular when I say this..but I know that there will be a fresh one whenever you call. You know my life. ; )

19.FISCHER.89

Married Life: the first 2 weeks

Hey Beady sisses! I'm glad to finally be back on here. It's at least one way I can communicate with you all when I miss you girls so much it hurts. I've been on this new adventure for two weeks and haven't had the chance to share any of it with any of you. I owe each of you a phone call soon. Not even so much "owe" as I'm going to go nuts if I don't at least talk to you girls soon.

Well, the wedding day was a blur. I had a blast, but I feel like I hardly saw any of you at all, even you, Hannah, and you were in it. I wish all three of you could have been in the wedding party. Whenever I saw you, Kate and Heathie, throughout the day, I felt like, "this doesn't seem right. They should be at this 'head table' with me too." I don't know if I ever really apologized to you girls for that. There was just no way Matt was going to scrounge up 2 more guys that were close enough for him to be worth having in the wedding though. I loved my party, but it would've been all the more wonderful if you two could've joined. But I suppose that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, marriage has been a joy so far. I think Matt and I are both even weirder when we're living together, which I think is a good thing--that we're both weird, I mean. (If I was the only one dancing ridiculously in the kitchen, it'd just be no fun.) It's funny, marriage seems so natural. In a lot of ways it feels so perfect that things must have always been this way, like it's impossible that there was I time when I didn't fall asleep next to the man of my dreams. So brace yourself, Heathie, for the best part of your life! I can already tell that marriage won't be easy, but the joys that come with it are guaranteed to outweigh even the worst of trials. Honestly, it doesn't seem fair that I get to be this happy!

We've already run into some bumps. The first day we got here, we discovered that we would only have a one bedroom apartment, our mattress wasn't delivered so we had to sleep on the floor, and we realized at about 10:30pm that we had no food to eat for lunch the next day. Honestly, it was one of the best days of my life. Even the annoying things are fun with Matt. I love married life!

Well, I'd better peace out for now. Matt's got to set up our router so we can have wireless internet. Woohoo! Well, call me some time this week girlies! I've got a home phone number now that I'll have to email you all, but just stick with the cell for now. I hope all of your summers are going wonderfully and I miss you all a ton! (Married life may be a blast, but I have no girls around!)

Peace and blessings. Peace and blessings.

:)

Living without excess... sort of.

Beadies, where are you?! :(

If we were the type of bloggers who labeled our blogs, I wonder how many I would have labeled "materialism."  Well, brace yourself. Because here comes another one.

I'm constantly being struck by the sheer volume of things that I have. But packing for Laura's Home is proving to be a humbling and frustrating venture. (Many things about my preparations for LH have been humbling, but that's something for another blog...)  I got my packing list in the mail, and it is short and simple. Bedding, towels, toiletries, modest summer clothing (including office casual clothes), swim suit, bible, journal, etc..  And I live so close that I am tempted to just under pack, because I can come home any time and get things. 

But I feel this tension. I need to bring office clothes and look nice, and I'm tempted to bring all my nice clothes, but there are so many of them. I'm imagining myself wheeling suitcases and laundry baskets full of things into this home for women who don't have homes, let alone a car full of things. So how simply can I live this summer, while still being professional and following dress code? There's a certain irony to my struggle. I have access to all this STUFF... and I'm trying to limit how much I bring for appearance's sake.  I don't want to appear vain, or rich, or clothing obsessed, which begs the question, am I?

How many colors of nail polish should I bring? How much jewelry? How many different scents of lotion? How many tops and skirts? How many shoes? How much can I cram in without seeming like I've brought too much? How much is actually too much? I want to live without excess. But I don't think that I even know what that really looks like. Well, maybe this summer, I'll find out.