Christmas Plans

I just want to let everyone know...Toby and I will be in Cleveland from December 23-30. Which means that I MUST see each beady (if you're in town) at that time. Lisey, when will you be home? And Kate, are you thinking you'll be around then? Twin, I think I already know your plans. :)

Love, HZ

Ummmm....wow.

Hello beady sisters of mine. OH boy, so I have not blogged in what seems like ages...and for that I apologize! I feel like my life has been a whirlwind of emotion lately and I've been living in my own safe little hole very comfortably. As it turns out, broken hearts are actually a legit thing. It really doess hurt! Hm. I miss all three of you soo much, and have at least been grateful to have katie so close to me and am excited to be seeing her more. Sisters, I have been feeling better! Praiisssse God because I literally did not think this was possible so soon. It felt like I couldn't see any end to my pain and sadness. And now, I can honestly say that I can. Though my relationship with God is lacking on my part...it's just good to have a sense of hope again. I of course still have kind of a hole in my heart, and don't know how long I will feel it, but I'm confident that God and the people who love me will help me through it.
My classes are going well, however there is so much over lap because I'm basically taking allll sociology/crim classes so at times if feels pretty redundant. I'm enjoying them for the most part, but because of everything I've been going through recently it's been superrr hard to find any motivation to do my work. It was random that when all of this started happening in my life, I was completely becoming overloaded with school annd now work. It was rough. Now I'm finding a good balance for myself that I think will keep me a bit healthier. Especially mentally, ha. I really do love work. I like everyone that I work with and love being able to interact with people in that fun setting all day. I kinda had to slow down on my work schedule for the rest of this semester though, because my school work was so behind. As you three mayyy know?..when I am really upset emotionally, I get literallyy sick. ha So I'm actually juust finishing "phase 2" of my cold. It's been pretty annoying and definitely got in the way of my classes. So..priorities. lol. I musstt graduate. I did not come allll this way for nothing. It's funny though because at several points through my reallyyy rough patch I literally thought about dropping out. Thatt is how confused and lost I felt. I didn't even think I could make it through school the way I felt. I don't really know how else to describe it. Ohh man.
OOOkkk..so special request from Elisa. My bus story. So this morning my mom and I were driving into Lakewood. She usually drops me off on clifton so I can catch the bus there and then she drives to work. Today we were running wayy behind, so she asked if we could just go straight to her work and convinced me that I could just as easily take the 26 bus on detroit. I have never taken this bus before...and didn't quiitte know where it would take me. However, I'm pretty used to freestyling bus trips from commuting for 4 years. lol. So I walked onto detroit, and saw the bus coming. I didn't know how far away I was from the next stop...so I just ran. lol. I finally found one in time, and hopped onto the bus. It was huge, like..one of the Healthline buses (kite would know) : ). The bus was pretty empty actually. Oh yea..and I saw when the bus was coming towards me that it was going to east 13th street. So I was like..Ok..I basically know where that is. So all of a sudden the bus is sooo packed. It was like..mayhem. This one elderly woman (pretty sure she had no teeth which is why there was so much spit flying out of her mouth) who got on the bus and immediately started screaming. Like...swearing..threatening...I was freaked out. She was actually eyeing me down too. lol. I definitely would nott want to cross her on the street at night. Or anytime of day for that matter. So thenn these two creepy men get on. They sit riiiight next to me. I was so squished. I'm like..really? Oh well. But he had suuper long nails, and smelled awful. They were speaking some other language..but come on. I knoww when people are talking about me! They kept looking over and smiling and giggling and I was like..awwesome sauce. Then this really cute guy got on the bus and instead of sitting in..oh..idk..a seat? He stood riiiight in front of me holding onto the pole (ha, that sounds funny) and facingg me! It was so awkward! I didn't even know where to look! And then he persisted to ask me what my name was..and if I had a boyfriend. And I was over it pretty quickly. He got creepy reeeall fast. So we finally got near tower city so I hopped off. (so did cute boy). So then I saw a healthline about to leave so I jumped on that. I was standing near the front, and there were three old men standin up (well, one was in a hoveround)...and one old woman sitting by them. They all kept calling her their wife, soo i was kind of confused. However, I used my deductive reasoning skills to conclude that she wass in fact Hoveround's wife. But thenn Bus Stop (that was his nick name) leaned over and started intimately kissing her!!! And hoveround was looking..but he didnt say anything. So I was like, oh. Maybe she's bus stop's wife, and hoveround was just jokin. But thenn willyy was like..shooo he takin your ladyyy haha. And I'm like..whaaat??...crazy!! (in my head). And then Willy started talkin about how he woke up the other morning in his bed with two random women! He was like..ehhh I didnt even know who they werrre!! Ohhh man. At this point one of them started talking to me..and I was like..ding ding! Get off the bus Hannah. Sooo I did. Wow. I just...it all didnt even seem real. It already feels like I lived the whole day. lol.
Well beadies...I love you all. Elisa! I get to see you for halloweenn!!! yayyy. Cannot wait sister. Heather, I'll apparentlyy be seein you in December! Good enough for me! I'll take what I can get! ; ) And Kite..well..I'll see ya. YOu know.

Hannah Grace

19.Fischer.89

Fall Update from the Mrs.

Buenos noches, mis amores! Good evening from your newly married Minnesotan Beady. I think it's time for an update, what with all of the big changes going on around here...

First of all, thank you each for coming to my wedding!! I was pretty bummed at how short the night went and how little I got to talk with you ladies, but I guess there was no way to prevent that. Seriously, it meant so much to me (and Toby) that you each were able to come. Gosh, I can't even describe how I felt that entire day, being surrounded by everyone I love and wanting to talk to everyone individually, yet unable to do that. It was so amazing to be surrounded with that love and just to see everybody together in one place. :) Anyway, I've talked to all of you on the phone since then and updated you on wedding/honeymoon/newlywed business, but I thought I would share a few other things with you here.

Since we got back from our honeymoon, I have actually enjoyed my job! It has only been a week and a half of work since then, but I think I have finally figured out how to DO my job. I have learned how to schedule clients so that I am home by a normal hour (instead of 7 or 8 like I had been) and still get paid for a full-time week. I have learned how to NOT answer my cellphone when it is work-related once I get home for the night. I have learned how to separate my personal emotions from the stories my clients tell me, even though they can be extremely depressing. (Okay, so I haven't figured out how to do this completely...but at least I don't come home crying as much anymore!) And I'm starting to build good relationships with my clients. At least four of them in the last week have told me how much I am helping them and how much they like me. :) I have to say it is really nice to get some feedback at work, because I receive absolutely none from anyone else.

Other good news: Toby quit his job at Applebee's and we will now be able to actually spend evenings together - for the first time ever! He is working his very last shift tonight, and we both are thrilled. :) He started working one internship as an assistant to the middle school youth pastor, and that seems to be going well so far. Toby is waiting to hear back about an internship at another church, but we are very hopeful that he will get it! And if not, we'll just keep on looking...

Married life is great. I absolutely love coming home from work to be a wife and spend time in *our* apartment together. It's so nice to live in space that is just mine and Toby's, and not to worry about using other people's things or sharing furniture or bills or anything! It's crazy to think about the fact that I am a real adult - working full time to make money to buy everything I need and pay for all my expenses. I know many of my friends have been doing these things already for awhile now (and I guess I've been doing this for the past 5 months or so), but it's still strange to think about. When did I become an adult? Is it permanent? :)

Alright, well I guess I should go write some wedding thank-you's. Feel free to call/email/Skype me anytime, because I miss you girls a lot. Oh yeah, and let me know your plans for Christmas, because Toby and I are planning our Ohio trip and need to know when to come!

Love,

Heather Grace

Honesty

Dear Beady Sisses,

Honestly, I don't know how honest I've been with you all lately. Because honestly, I have not been doing great with the Lord. Honestly, last night was the first night in a long time where I truly felt as if I could only do all things through HIM who gives me strength rather than through me.

It's a funny thing how not being open damages a person. I have not purposely been hiding anything from the three of you or from my husband, but I have just stopped talking about my spiritual life. With anybody. Even the Lord. For a while, it doesn't seem like a big deal. Frankly, just about all summer long I omitted that part of my life from every conversation (the fact that I even have the ability to do that probably says something about the state of my heart right now), and now fall is well underway and I have not changed my habits in the slightest. Of course, the reasoning behind this is because I know that I have not been focusing the kind of effort or time I should be with the Lord. I'd love to blame it on change, on adjusting to married life, on it being my last semester, and believe me, I do use these as excuses. But what it really comes down is laziness with a hint of apathy. And you know, despite my extreme busyness, things are going pretty well for me, so what do I need the Lord for, right? I know how incredibly blasphemous that sounds, and I would never actually say that out loud, but that's really what I've been saying with my life. (And everyone knows 80% of communication is nonverbal. . . ) Why is it that it is so difficult for me to believe that I need the Lord even when there is not a "crisis" happening in my life? This is not a new problem in my life, but certainly an emphasized one over the last several months. I was at one point more disciplined. Why is that so hard to build and so simple to tear down?

Honestly girls, I've been avoiding writing anything on here, because I know that once I started to write I would inevitably need to be honest. Honestly though, Sara Groves is right when she says, "Oh honesty--oh honestly--the truth be told for the saving of our souls."

Your slightly blasphemous and forever imperfect friend,

Elisa