The changes. Where to start?

A lot of things have changed since I last blogged. I joined Twitter. I learned that I really like guacamole AND I learned how to make it. I started volunteering as a middle school youth group leader. I've had 7 interviews with the same company and still don't know if I have a job there. I now have at least 3 genuine friends here in MN. I gained about 10 pounds. I crashed my car and then, thankfully, got it fixed. I started watching seasons of Grey's Anatomy as a way to cope with the stress of my job. I have a husband who is just a month away from getting his MDiv. I survived a horribly snowy winter driving an average of 60-80 miles per day. And, that's all I can think of right now!

Oh, there is one more change that I wish to tell you about: I decided it's time to turn my life around. I know, you might be thinking that enough changes are going on, it's not like I need another one. However, with everything that has happened this winter, I really gave up on my relationship with God. I can't blame my job, even though I tried to for awhile. Honestly, I became pretty depressed this winter, and unlike every other period of depression I've experienced, this time I did NOT turn to God for help. I have seen so much brokenness and heard such heartbreaking stories from my clients this year that I started to carry their burdens on my back. No matter how hard I tried, I could not harden myself to their pain. I had to empathize, which means I had to really feel what they felt. And let me tell you, listening to 20 people's heartbreaking stories each week takes its toll! Hence, my need to dive into the drama of Grey's Anatomy.

For the last few weeks I have been trying to hand everything over to God a little at a time. I finally decided that things needed to change. My first step was to start listening to the local Christian radio station. I know that sounds like a weird first step, but considering I am constantly in my car, it actually makes a big difference. Secondly, I started praying in my car. Whenever I need a break from the radio (which is often, let's face it - Christian radio stations play the same songs at least 3x a day), I try to fill my time with talking to God. I'm still working on that, but I can already feel it improving my mood. This week, I am trying to read my Bible each night, just a chapter at a time. I used to be able to read my Bible much more than that, but after having some major struggles with some things I found in the Bible, I now have to break it down into smaller pieces. Reading every day is still a work in progress, but I'm glad I finally committed to doing it again.

That's really the biggest thing going on in my life right now. I feel like I am nearing the end of this dark period, and I am ready for warmth, sun, and summer! Thanks for listening. I hope you all are doing well!

Love,

Heather