Yooper Bars exist, so I must, too!

LOVES!

It has been far far far far far too long, and for that I apologize. We don't have internet at Cedar Campus, so I am in Cedarville, Michigan at the Les Cheneaux Library, finally getting the chance to sit and briefly debreif to you all! Ok, before I say anything else, I need to tell you girls how intensely I love you! I am so incredibly blessed to have you three in my life and I miss you all so much! It's been great here at IVLI (InterVarsity Leadership Institute), but I look through my pictures every night to remind myself of how much God has already given me. I could not ask for better women in my life.

Now that I got that slightly off my chest, I ought to tell you about my time here. Well, first off, transition time between Europe and Michigan was insane. It went by way too fast, as Heathie already confirmed. Now that I'm here I've gotten a chance to relax a little, but mostly to learn. I cannot tell you how much I have changed by being here, focusing on God for just one week. I don't have any big life plans formulated and I haven't had any lifechanging experiences per se, but God has just opened my eyes to the innerworkings of my own heart, while allowing my mind to grasp a bit more of the greatness of his plans. I keep thinking of the song "Speak, O Lord" which says, "let us grasp the heights of your plans for us." That's precisely what I'm attempting to do. The whole focus of this month is leadership, but it's really more about my own walk and obedience to the Lord. Little by little God is breaking my down to be willing to give up everything. It's funny because one day I'll be like, "I should be a missionary!" and the next day I'll say, "I should work with women!" and the next day I'll say, "I should live in the ghetto and serve God there!" (Actual thoughts that have come into my head.) And it's just humorous because the thoughts are all so scattered that the only clear bit of understanding that I've reached is that God has the authority, right and option of sending me anywhere he wants, taking anything of mine he wants, and radically shaking my life however he wants. But I can't really be useful to him, to the build up of his kingdom, unless I'm willing to "take up my cross and follow" him. Basically, God is prying my fingers, one at a time, from the grip that I hold on this world. I know that only once my hands are completely free from anything but Christ's own hands will I be able to hear is voice for the plans he has for me. I was thinking about how annoyed I get that the American church tends to challenge people to step out of the boat into water that's only about a foot deep. I want to be prepared and challenged to step out into the middle of the ocean. Of course, after thinking this, I realized that I will never be ready for the ocean if I'm not willing to be "obedient, even unto death," to the Lord our God. Perhaps that sounds a bit extreme, bit only because we're looking at it through a western lense. (What is so shocking about death? It would seem that most of our brothers and sisters in India are prepared to die for Christ. Why not us?) At any rate, the principle behind it is the idea that I need to be willing to give up my things, to give up my home, to give up anything for Christ. THEN he will be able to truly use me; when he is my top priority, far above anything else.

Sorry to blabber on. I'm making up for my absence on our blog I guess. Heather, I'll call you soon. I love you, so much! Kate, call me when you get home. I want to talk to you! Bisoux! Hannah Grace, my sister. Man. We need to chat. I miss you immensely. If you can ever call, please do. If Melanie were not here with me, I was going to start referring to you as my sister here to people that I meet, because that's always what comes to my mind when I think of you. Oh, Jerome says hi.

Can't wait to reunite with you all! I love you women so much and praise God for you! Let me know how I can be praying for you!