Well, It's Sunday night, and I'm trying to process the fact that I only have 2 full days left in this beautiful city. Part of me is so excited to get home... I can't wait to sleep in my bed, and hug my friends and my brothers and my parents. The other part of me hates to leave all these new great friends and this amazing city.
In this moment, I have the feeling that I won't be back here next year. Of course, there are other moments where I am fully convinced that I will be. But that makes it all the more sad to leave, feeling as if these two days may be my last chance to pour into the lives of these beautiful women that I've met (at least, pour into them in person).
So neither he who plants, nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.... By the Grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can build any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:7, 10-11
This passage has spoken to me a lot here in Rome. First, it's freeing, because it means that I don't have to do a whole lot except for be faithful and rely on the foundation that has already been laid. Second, it means I have to trust that other people will be continuing to build after I leave. Third, it means that I have to build with care because even if I am leaving in three days, I don't know what impact I could have here. I don't know which words God will use. (meeting a lot of new people this summer has forced me to share my testimony over and over, which is a wonderful reminder of the way God has clearly orchestrated my life, and I have been reminded of little things that people said to me, before I was a Christian, that impacted me profoundly. Elisa and Heather have both been quoted in my testimony, along with people who I had forgotten about.) So I need to remember that it is not my power that changes people's hearts, but the moving of the Holy Spirit.
I feel like it is so hard to get perspective on what all I have learned here. We focused a lot on that during debrief in Switzerland, but since I have yet to return to America and experience life as it was, I haven't really been able to grasp the ways that God has changed me, although I feel certain that He has.
This morning I went to an Italian speaking church with the Bennetches. I was worried that I would not understand much, but luckily, the woman who preached was very good at enunciating, and she preached on a passage that is very familiar to me, so I grasped (almost) everything that she was saying. She talked about the part in Matthew where the different builders build houses in the sand or on the rock. Her sermon was very simple, and very good. And hearing these familiar truths in a new language gave them a new profundity. At one point she talked about how the two houses are the same in every way but one: their stability. "Where is your stability?" she asked. What am I relying on, and is it stable? If it's not Christ, the rock, la roccia, then it's not stable. It will wash away. This was particularly challenging because I feel like right now I am laying foundations for the rest of my life (isn't that a tag line in a commercial...?) and I want those foundations to be the right ones.
Anyway, I'm coming home. Wednesday. And I am so excited to see what God will teach me as I cycle back into routine. And I'm praying that my routine will be as un-routine like as possible! Soon. I will see you all soon. (Hannah, I re-realized that you won't be in Avon Lake until the end of summer and almost cried today. I miss you friend! I talk about you all the time to my friends here! And to Heathie and Else, I will talk to you/ see you soon!)
Much love,
Kate
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