snowflakes in...may?

I guess it's about time I posted something on here. I can't guarantee it will be anything of interest, though. 

New news for Katesters: Exhibit A: I emailed JJ Heller for musical advice with getting started on making albums and whatnot. I didn't really expect a reply, but she emailed me right back with great advice and a request to sing at Cornerstone. Pretty nifty, eh? Exhibit B: So, 'member how we wrote that play about a girl named Kevin and then you saw that other play about a girl named Kevin? Well, Matt and I went to see the Disney Pixar movie Up the other night and this boy finds a bird who he thinks is a boy who he names Kevin. Kevin turns out to be a girl. Getting a little outrageous? I think so. The world is after our brilliant ideas. Look out Snowflakes In April, you're next! (For anyone wondering and curious, Snowflakes In April is a movie Kate and I thought up in our sophomore year. I would tell you the plot, but I don't want any big movie producers to steal that idea, as they so clearly are in the habit of doing.)

For Everyone: I, like Hannah, have been experiencing some rather bizarre moods as of late. (Must be this Avon Lake water.) I don't know what my deal is, but today is a good example. I was perfectly fine this morning (despite suffering the aftermath of a bout of intriguingly strange dreams). I went to my Sunday school class, to church, to lunch with Matt. Somewhere in the middle of lunch my pleasant, or at least unbothered, mood changed to distress. I can't account for it, really, I just felt a weight on my heart and my head like there was some seriously pressing issue I had to deal with; but there wasn't. I went home and journaled for a long time and spent well needed time with the Lord, and realized a few things about myself that I won't blog about, but you can ask me directly if you feel so lead. Even after that though, I really cannot quite account for the sudden change in mood. I might overlook it depending on a few girlish factors or if it were the first time something like this had occurred as of late, but it's been happening probably every other day. I don't know why, I just grow suddenly depressed. My best guess is that it has to do with change. Hannah is moving out and then leaving, Kate's in Rome, Matt's leaving in a week, I'm leaving in two, and, above all, I know there will never be another summer quite like this one. Next summer is bound to bring some bigger changes. 

And on that somber note, I suppose I should stop depressing you all. I need to the reminder every once in a while to actually "live in the moment," or as Paul puts it, to "make the most of every opportunity." So often I stress about the future and miss the glory of the present. Kate, you're right, we speak the same language on this. Hey, I'm visiting Europe this summer--it's time I started to learn a foreign language. 

P.S. Kate--and really everyone--we have a wonderful surprise for you. 

Sending Shoregal Love

HI KATIE, WE LOVE YOU!

Beady Beady

At LAST

I am finally able to upload pictures! This weekend, our reservation at the Salvation Army was screwed up, so we are having what is being fondly referred to as "Project Sleepover." It is really just a bunch of people crammed into 3 or 4 apartments, but it is super fun anyway, for many reasons. We get to use the phone for free! We get to use the internet for free! We get to cook (we are all very deprived of basic things like fresh fruit and veggies since we've been eating out for every meal)! We get to do laundry! We get to all hang out together, which doesn't actually happen that often, because we tend to be split up into missional teams or action groups or whatever.... Anyhow, the cool thing about project sleepover is that I can finally upload pictures! So here is a little tidbit. I will of course be able to show more once I get home and can go through and edit and whatever, but I thought I'd give you guys a little taste of what I see while I'm here.

This is the view from my bedroom window at the Salvation Army. The building you see is another building that belongs to the Salvation Army, and between that building and our building is a beautiful courtyard where I have been doing my quiet times and where we sometimes hang out as a group late at night! Che bella!
This is our room. Simple. Comfortable. Better than I expected, to be honest. The bed on the right is mine... and just to the left, you can sort of see the bunk beds. My roomies are Ashley, Brittany, and Monica. We have a good time :)
This is the view from a bus stop that we go to almost every day. One of my favorite things about Rome is that everything is beautiful. I don't think I've seen a building yet that I saw and thought "wow... that building is uuugly..." I love the colors too. The Romans are not afraid of pink on their buildings, or bright orange, or yellow. And the shutters are functional! I am such a nerd, but I got so excited that the shutters aren't just decorative. They actually use them here....
This is San Giovani (Saint John) The piazza that is here is named for this church, and this is where we pick up the metro every day to go to campus or to go into Il Centro. Did I explain Il Centro yet? Just in case I forgot... It's the historical center of Rome. (See photos below)
This is the metro. There are 2 lines. This is the B Line. It is covered in graffiti. The A Line isn't. I just think this picture looks cool.
THIS is in Il Centro. These are some ruins. I'm not sure which yet though, because I only took this picture in passing. I'm fairly sure we'll be visiting them soon, and I will take loads more photos, and I'll find out about some of the history and what not.
I forget what this building is called. We call it the Wedding Cake Building. It is also in Il Centro.
Italian kiddos are adorable. End of story.

Story time. After church on Sunday, we went to the Spanish steps to have lunch and these dudes come jogging by. There is a golf cart following them, and it stops, and some people start handing out cards and sweat bands that say Roma Calcio. We assume that this is the Roma soccer team. Falso. After taking lots of creeper pics of these guys and getting all worked up about how close I was to these sweaty guys who are basically legendary, I just found out last night that these are NOT Roma soccer players. This girl from Project, Amanda, was at a party with some Italian Students and was telling them that she got to meet some Roma soccer players, and she showed them the pictures and they were like, "No! Those aren't Roma players! Those are guys from Junior league or something." Dangit. Now I have creeper pictures of people who aren't even significant.
This is Pompi: the self proclaimed Regno di Tiramisu. Ahhhh. You guys, it was seriously one of the best things I've ever taasted in my life. AND they have other kinds of tiramisu. Strawberry, Banana and Nutella, Mixed Berry... DE lish.

I'm not exactly sure what this is. But we were taking a walk the other night and paassed it. So I snapped a photo. And this brings me to aanother one of my favorite things about Rome. Everything is old. But some things are especially old. So you can be walking down the cobblestone streets and admiring the old crumbly apaartment buildings and the shutters and what not, and you turn aa corner, and there is something really old. And you just feel like the city is steeped in history and you wonder how many feet have walked on the same cobblestones upon which you aare walking. It is so unbelievable.
THIS my friends is the Trevi Fountain. I took day time pictures too... but I posted the night time ones. These little photos cannot even begin to do justice to the magnificence of this fountain. It is literally breath taking. The first time I went there, I got out my camera and I staarted taking pictures because I was thinking, "It's the Trevi Fountain! I have to take a million pictures!" The second time I went, I just haad to stand there and look at it. It is so incredible. It is so big. It is so intricate and gorgeous. It is so majestic. I LOVE it I LOVE it I LOVE it.
So I included another picture...

Colosseo! Once again, you haave to see it to believe it. It's so bizarre because you get off the metro station, or you're just looking around at random buildings, and then there it is. It's this thing that you've seen in pictures for your whole life but it's so much bigger and so much more incredible when you're there!

And on a final note, I'm loving Roma. God has been teaching me loads! At a certain point, I think I hit the level of just total exhaustion, and I'm just trying to say, "OK God. I'm here. I'm tired. Use me. Energize me. Renew me." And God has been teaching me that he can use me as I am now! Philippians 3:10-11 has really been speaking to me here: "I want to know Christ & the power of his resurrection & the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, & so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead, Not that I have already obtained all this, or have been made perfect but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Christ took hold of me to make me holy and perfect and blameless and to restore me to the fellowship with God that I was designed for. So I need to press on to take hold of that too! It will be a process, for sure. It won't end until I get to heaven, but I'm realizing that there is such joy in pursuing him now!

OK, that's all I've got for now friends. :) Hope you all are well!

Love,
Kate

What IS This Feeling?...

Hey Girls!

First off, I hope you are doing well Katesters. I'm excited to keep up with you throught the summer!
Alright, so as some of you know...I have been extremely overwhelmed emotionally lately. This is for various reasons, but one of them is just from thinking of evveryything I need to get done before I leave for Mexico..mm..next thursday? Wow. Not only will I be packing/still getting the things I need all week..but will also be moving back into my mom's house. Honestly, I'm very excited about it and can't wait to be there next year (since I wont be there all summer) ha. It's definitely going to be a big change for me living with my family again..but it's something that I know I need at this point. I know its the right decision. It's really weird, even though I have so much to be looking forward to this summer/what will be happening in a week...I can't help but keep looking to next year. I'm not really sure why I keep doing that. Maybe it's because there are specific things with this summer that I'm not ready to face yet? I dont know. So yea, in general I have just had a lot of frustration that I dont want to have. With people..with situations I'm in...and I'm a very chill person so I don't like being overwhelmed with that much negetive emotion all at once.
Well, I think I just need to focus on one thing at a time and stop relying on myself or others to calm my fears and pain. God is the only one who truly knows my heart..my personality...my fears...my trials...so why the crunk wouldn't I go to Him above anyone else? Hmm..food for thought. Alright well..I'm gonna end this post before it turns into "A Dramatic Reading of a Loveletter" that Emily showed Elisa and I on youtube the other day. : )

Peace out.

Feliz Verano! (de la chica de los flores)

First, and probably least importantly, I want to share that I am currently listening to Cindy and Sandy cheer on the Cavs downstairs. That's for you, Katie. Nothing screams home like those two yelling in unusually loud voices, "...Defense, defense. Grab it! Go! (-Cindy) Lebron, you cannot do that (-Steve). Yes! DEFENSE! Let's go, Cavs! You're a good team! (-Sandy)..." And now, Sandy is asking God for help. Needless to say, it's an exciting game (which I am not actually watching). :D

Okay, secondly, I am so sorry for my hiatus in blogging. Sure, I was busy with end-of-the-year festivities and exams, but that's not really an excuse. I think I might have forgotten about this blog. Sorry. I promise you didn't miss anything too thrilling in my life in those weeks.

Third...happy summer!! I can't believe I'm finally home, the year is over, and I only have ONE SEMESTER left of college! :O That hasn't really set in yet. I think maybe once everyone leaves me and I start getting bored, then I will realize that it's summer [forgive the cynicism]. On a happier note, I start my internship tomorrow! I'm pretty excited, for a number of reasons: I'll get to work in a professional setting, it's something totally new, I get to use my mad research skills for a significant purpose, I'll meet new people...and I won't spend my whole summer at a crappy part-time job! Yay. This also means that I have to start going to bed at like 11pm and waking up at 7am, but I think I can handle it. I've had almost a week of "real" summer, and I'm glad that I will actually be doing something with my time from now on, instead of sitting around every day and being a blob.

Today was my first day of nannying, which I will only be doing once a week, but it wore me out. I love the kids and they love me, which is perhaps why they get so wound up whenever I come over. It will be good to have variety in my week and not be at an office every day, but it will definitely be a test of my patience with kids. As many of you know, I am not a huge kids person, and hanging out with them does not come naturally to me. But, I chose to nanny these specific kids this summer because I've babysat them for years, and they are truly two of the only kids that I really enjoy being with. But even though I love them, it is still really draining on me physically and emotionally (they do not watch tv, by their own choice, and literally go go go the entire 7 hours I am there). I'm not complaining, I am just saying that this job will be a...stretching...experience this summer. :)

Spiritually, God has been putting some big ideas in my head lately. I feel like my thinking is being transformed - mostly about money and ways to use my money that is truly pleasing to God. I won't go into all the details tonight, because it could go on for awhile. But basically, I am feeling really convicted about my lifestyle and how sheltered it has been from any brush with poverty or people living in poverty. I know some of this is not my fault and can't be controlled, but I'm starting to just feel this overwhelming compassion for the poor and for people (in the US and abroad) who are forced into poverty without any choice. Without any of it being their fault. Aren't we called to love them, feed them, clothe them? I'm starting to see that giving money to missionaries and mission organizations is not necessarily what Jesus was talking about when he gave us those commands. (Matthew 6, 19, 24: 31-46) Giving to them from the distance of my very comfortable life only makes me more satisfied with myself, without actually following Christ's example of living with the needy. I haven't yet fully processed these ideas, I just know that they are on my mind for a reason...

Anyway, I need to go to bed so I can wake up bright and early! Buenos noches, mis amigas! Se amo mucho!

Always,
Heather

Some fun facts about Italia

1. Graffiti is an Italian word, which makes sense, because it is everywhere. Only the churches and ruins are sacred enough to not be covered in graffiti. Some of the graffiti is really awesome.... I would post pictures but...
2. The slots for SD cards are different in computers here. I have yet to find an internet cafe that will allow me to upload pictures. I'm working on it.
3. There are some weird trends here. My fave? Bubble pants. They wear them with such confidence. But they look soooo ridiculous. They're like gauchos with elastic around the knee or ankle, and sometimes the crotch comes down really low so they look like Jeannie (as in I dream of...) Here's a picture that kind of shows it...

4. They call it a bar if it has an actual bar. So if an Italian asks you to go to the bar, it could mean for coffee, beer, a sandwich, gelato, etc.
5. There is no free water in restaurants. You must pay for bottled water. At the restaurant we went to last night, we had to pay €1 for a pitcher of tap water.
6. Mexican restaurants in Rome are not very good. The spell tacos: tachos, and they don't have quesadillas, and fajitas are basically just a heaping skillet full of meat. Also, they serve pizza and pasta there. Now, normally, I wouldn't think of going to a Mexican Restaurant in Rome, but seriously, pizza and pasta get old fast.
8. They dig Erasmus. Whenever we meet students, usually the first question is "Are you Erasmus?" Which basically means, "Are you a foreign exchange student?) I'm not exactly sure who Erasmus was, but they like him.
7. Oop! More Poop! There is dog poop everywhere. I don't think they clean the streets here.

That's all I've got for now...

If your name is Elisa or Heather, please email me your address. Being ever unprepared, I didn't bring adresses. Hannah, I would send you a post card, but I don't think it would reach you before you leave, and I know it would never get to Mexico (Enjoy a tacho for me).

Love,

Kate

Ciao from Roma!!!

Buongiorno mi amici!

I am here in Roma and am missing home a lot, but it has been a whirlwind so far.

Yesterday, we went to this church called San Lorenzo in Lucina, which is right accross from the baptist church that we will be going to (side note: I think it's funny that our baptist church is next door to Louis Vuitton...) Anyway, I guess up until the fifth century or so, when Romans wanted to build buildings, they would cut away old buildings and build on top of the foundations of old buildings so that they wouldn' have to build completely new foundations. Well, this church was apparently built on top of the foundations of the old building because excavators have found this church underneath that has been around since around 120 AD! We got to see it, and the coolest part was a baptistry that was built in around 320 or so. It was built right after Constantine converted to Christianity, so after Christianity became a state religion people were getting baptized right and left. They built these baptistries to accomadate the hordes of people that were becoming "Christians." It was kind of cool because it showed me the origins of the church as an institution, which most Italian students seem to reject. I also thought there was a beautiful irony in the idea that they tore down this sparse old church that housed some of the first Christians ever to build a church that was ornate with paintings, statues, mosaics, and stained glass. It's like they tore down the pure Christianity that Paul preached to make way for the church of the state that was so prevalent in the Roman Empire and in Europe.

I met a girl named Alessia today at La Sapienza, a university here in Roma. A few of the other project folks and I were just talking with her about spirituality and life's purpose. She told us about how when she was younger, she had taken lessons with a "suore" or a nun who was very strict and had a lot of rules. She hated that which is why she doesn't consider herself to be a part of the church today. But she loves thinking about spirituality and she said she thinks our purpose in life is just to love. She said we had showed her love, and she thinks that love and helping people comes from inside of each of us. I'm really looking forward to meeting her again and talking about where love truly comes from, which is from our wonderful, beautiful creator!

I miss everyone back home! Else, I'm so glad that you are gonna get serious about your music! I listended to all of the recordings of you that I have on my iPod the other day because it reminded me of home and of you! I don't care about the recording quality... it just makes me feel like I'm in your family room listening to you, and I love it!

I will hopefully upload pictures soon, but I'm hoping to find a cheaper cafe to do that in!

Love everyone! See you soon! Hanner, have a great time in Monterrey, and I'll be praying for you! Heather, I want to read all about what's going on in your life, no matter how mundane it might feel to you, because seriously, just reading words from people at home is going to mean the world! To anyone else who may be reading this, please send me email with anything you might feel like you'd want to tell me! I will eat up any words from friends that I can get!

Love love love!
Ciao Ciao Ciao

Kate

Huzzah for summer!!

Ladies, brace yourselves. We are now officially allowed to enter summer mode. Of course, three of us have been technically "on break" for a week or two now, but the season couldn't start properly with only three of us. So, Heathie, now that you're done, it's time for all of us to whip out the sunblock and start burning! ...And of course pull out the work clothes so we can be responsible adults and make money. Isn't responsibility just great? 

Well, Katesters, I'm sure Rome is gorgeous and I can't wait to hear from you. Praise God all that financial stuff came through for you. Man, the Lord is so faithful isn't he? I mean, even when Satan's doing everything he can to trip us up (like stealing envelopes full of support checks). I know you all know about God's faithfulness, but I for one need a reminder. So at the end of the school year I decided that this summer would FINALLY be the summer that I was going to stick my heels in the ground and stop my going-ness until I got my songs copyrighted and recorded. As it turns out, I am a little less than eager to do this now that summer has actually come by. I don't know what my deal is, ladies. I know that the Lord has given me all of these songs in order to bless others and I know that he wants me to record and that he can't use me or the music he's given me if I don't give him room to do it; but for whatever reason, I'm scared. I don't know what exactly I'm scared of, I'm just scared. I guess I feel a bit like you, Katie, in regard to Rome, how you kept saying that it seemed like Satan was telling you that you'd be much better off staying in Cleveland. I'm letting him get to me, too, because he keeps saying I'd be much better off leaving all this music stuff alone. But all logic, not to mention spirituality, tells me otherwise. I am certain the Lord wants me to move forward in my music, but my hesitancy remains. I need the three of you to push me -even if it's from across the globe- this summer to get going on all this. Would you all do that for me? I need accountability here. God keeps getting on my case, bringing up verses like James 1:22 to me--"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. DO what it says." My faith should be about action, not about what I think I know. I've just been coming to grips with this; God's known all along. 

So, since God has a sense of humor, I will leave you with lyrics he gave me a while back. Fitting, don't you think? (Oh Jesus, you must be laughing at me.)

I won't hide anymore from the Lord

I will look my fear in the eye 

And rely on my God 

I won't hide anymore from the Lord

I won't shy away when he calls

I will follow his voice

I won't hide

MOKO Jojo (get it?..Elisa? please? )

Ok, well I am OFFICIALLY on summer vacation. Woot woot!! It feels sooo good. I cannot wait to just go home and hang with my friends...and start gettin ready for Mexico. So today I had a Macro Economics final in the morning (funn stuff!..) and since I had a bunch of down time, I've been allll over the place. First I just read (I'm more than half way done with Pride and Prejudice). It was awesome. Then I met up with Katie and girl..cannot remember her name! Ah! I'm awful. Anyways..we had a blast, made some sweet bracelets out of Viking Hall forks. Yea..we're rebels lke that. Then I met up with my friend Casey for coffee and MOKO cafe. DELISH! Afterwards, she took me on a kickin tour of WVIZ (where she works). And guessss what, I saw most of the peeps that are always on the show! ha Like..the ones that answer phones..and eat things on t.v. You know what I'm talking about. And if you dont..well..that just sucks for you. ; ) And backtracking, early this morning I went up in the BP building to see where Sara works, that building is huuge. So..I'm a little exhausted but..in general I've been having just a chill day in the city. Unfortunately...now I have to wait for anotherr hour and a half till I can catch my bus and go homme! I am soo glad its finally summer. 

To Italy and Beyond...

I'm so future oriented, it's not even funny.
In 5 days, I will be on a plane bound for Roma, and yet, I can't stop thinking about everything I'm going to do when I get back!
paint.
make jewelry.
take loads of photos with my mom's old nikon. (I'm on a film kick!)
practice the guitar again...
read, like it's my job.
find an actual job.
plan cru stuff for the fall.
move into/ decorate my new room.
go to cedar point for my 20th birthday (!)
take on the impossible task of catching up with all the people I love.
aaaaaaaand trust me, the list goes on.
Not only that, I plan for years from now. I'm going to Italy for crying out loud, and I'm already planning my next world travels, and even what happens after that! (Grad school? Job? More world travels?)
The thing is, it's not that I don't appreciate what's going on in the here and now, because I really do. I just operate in the future. I always look ahead, and not usually because I'm worried. I get this from my mom. She can be working at a job that she loves, and she'll still check job listings, because there might be something better out there. I have this state of mind that I like to live in: whatever I'm doing now has to be leading to an eventual goal, or I don't see the point of doing it. This doesn't mean I'm a work-aholic. Because I get as apathetic as the next guy (or girl), but even my relaxation time is usually productive. I have a hard time sitting and doing absolutely nothing; I always read, or write, or make something, or try to be with a friend, or ride my bike, or anything else that makes me feel busy.
Anyhow, I guess my point is: pray for me while I'm in Roma that I will be living in the present, soaking up every moment, seeing how God is using my on a daily basis, and just living for today. I'm not really worried about it or anything, but I was sitting today planning my summer (the one after my two month excursion to Europe) and I thought, "Kate, you need to stop and realize where you're going to be next week!" Crazy.
And then I came back to Earth, and started thinking about the more imminent future:
the cobblestones
the language
the history
the ceilings
the people
the gelato
the artichokes
the fashion
the music
the traveling
the new friends
the experiences
the tests
the growth
the word
I really can't wait!
I love you ladies, and I plan to talk to/ see all of you before I go.

Much love,

Kate

We got cut short...

Well, Katie and I have not done something like this since..well...senior year, (on myspace nonetheless). However, Katie is working the front desk at Viking Hall and I...well I'm just plain bored. We then began reminiscing about our past experience of blogging together and after some thought, reading it, and laughing our heads off, decided to give it a second go.

"That bumper sticker says Darwin Loves You." -Jeremy
So we were driving to school this morning (Katie, Hannah, and Jeremy), and Jeremy spotted a bumper sticker on a car that says Darwin doesn't love you. So we came to the conclusion that looks like this:

Here's a little bit of the what I've been dealing with lately (Hannah). Wow. cops are here now. Sorry..anyways...apparently someone on the 7th floor did lottts of drugs and is breaking things. So, I was at my bus stop the other day waiting for the trolly. Then, a scruffy looking older man approaches me and says, "Excuse me ma'm..ma'm. Are you spoken for?" I'm just thinking..no..please go away. So..needless to say, and with much reason I might add, said, "Yes." He then said "Ok, have a nice day", and walked away. After we got on the trolly he asked yet another innocent girl. Her reaction however was slightly different than mine. She busted out laughing, and then kept listening to her ipod. I thought to myself...why can't I do that. ha. : )

Sooo...this combined blog isn't going so well because Katie is busy with cops and paramedics. Anywho..that's our school! Goodbye loves!

Free Coffee, Free Grace.

You guys get pensive Kate tonight, since I'm stuck at the desk...

Ladies, we're at the last of it. Last few weeks, before summer really starts up! When it comes down to it, I feel like doing this whole blog thing will be totally different this summer than it is right now, because we will actually be around the world from each other, and we won't be able to necessarily pick up a phone and talk, so even though I'm not looking forward to the homesickness, I am looking forward to the shift that will happen here, because these updates will get less introspective and more (what is the opposite of introspective)... extrospective?

At any rate, here is (most likely) my last introspective rant of the semester, since this is my last late night shift of the semester!!

So, in an effort to be completely cheesy, I am reading Romans leading up to my trip in Rome. But seriously, this book never gets old. Girls, don't laugh at me, because I know that this is practically what the book is about, but before this week, I don't think I ever fully realized that righteousness comes by faith. Let me explain. I've been having a lot of issues lately with being righteous, just in general. A lot of it is the same old stuff I've been struggling with for years, some of it is new stuff that has popped up, but righteousness is basically a concept that is completely foreign to me. And lately, I've also been having faith issues; having trouble trusting that God will provide for me financially and that he is faithful to do what he has promised, and all these other less tangible things that I have been having trouble believing lately. And until this week, it literally never occurred to me that my faith issues were somehow related to my righteousness issues! (And how many times have I read Romans?)

Faith comes first! Romans 3:22 says "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." So if I have faith, righteousness comes with that. For example, I know that I have struggled with pride for a really long time, and I always thought that I just sort of had to work at it and it would go away. And I thought that if God made that issue go away, my faith in Him would increase. But really, I think it's kind of the other way around. If I pray for my faith to increase, righteousness will follow. And then I remember that having faith isn't as easy as it sounds. The ebbs and flows that my faith has gone through since the beginning of my life as a Christian have been unbelievable. When I first became a Christian, faith was never the issue. I think that is common in new Christians because when we are young, God knows what we can handle, and he wants us to experience him in tangible ways so that we will always know that he is real. But being humans, we forget things so easily. I usually end up beating myself up over my tendency to forget.

And that brings me to Romans 3:24: "[all] are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." I heard this sermon last summer (Elisa, I think you heard it too... the Austrian guy that Paul played for us...) and I think of it every time I read this verse now. The guy told this great analogy about justification. He told the story of a man who loved coffee, but always forgot his wallet, and he would go into the coffee shop and try to buy coffee but he had no money to pay for it. After a few days of convincing the barista to give him free coffee, the man walked away without his coffee. One day, a friend of that man walks into the coffee shop and says to the barista, "I have a friend who loves coffee, but always forgets his wallet. So today I'm going to give you $2,000 and whenever my friend comes in here, I want you to give him coffee for free." The barista agrees, and the next day the man comes in and begs the barista to give him free coffee. Of course the barista gives the man his coffee. The man says, "That was easy." The barista says, "it was already paid for." Now it is not out of mercy that the barista gave the man free coffee. It was the right thing to do. The coffee was paid for. It would be wrong for the barista to refuse to give the man coffee. For this reason, when we appeal to God to forgive us of our sins, we are not appealing to His mercy, but to His justice. Our sin was paid for, once and for all, and God, being a just God, is not able to not forgive us of that sin if we ask. Now here's where I get hung up. I have such a hard time accepting free stuff. I feel guilty doing it. I don't want to appeal to God's judgment, because I still feel like I owe something. I know that a just God will forgive me because my sins have been atoned for. But some days, I am scared to appeal to God's justice because on those days, I find myself doubting the completeness of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross or doubting that I have done all I need to do. If I were the man in the coffee story, I would always want to leave an extra big tip or work for my coffee or something. Because I have such a hard time accepting something for nothing. I'm the same way with God's grace. Some days, I want to return it, or pay for it in some silly way. Some days, God asking for nothing is harder than him asking for something because it shows me how good he is and how fallen I am.

At any rate, I had forgotten how awesome Romans is, and am so glad that I made the cheesy decision to read it this week. Also, my journal has a picture of Rome on it, and it is almost full. I will probably fill it before I leave, which will mean that the first and last thing that I journal about in my Roman journal is the book of Romans. I'm a cheese-ball. Whatevs.

Aaaaand, on a much lighter note, what would you guys think if I started implementing the phrase "Steaming manholes that's gross!" I think it makes a good exclamatory phrase.

Love,
Kate

Drained.

Buenos noches!
I'm sorry that I haven't written anything on here in awhile. I thought I was going to have time this weekend, and then I actually ended up doing fun things instead of sitting on my rear and chillaxing the whole time. So, I'm not even going to write much now because my body is super duper tired (I helped tear down the set in the theatre tonight), and my mind isn't functioning well either.

I just wanted to say:
1) Happy Birthday, Hannah Grace! Te amo mucho y I wish I could be there to help you celebrate...see I can't even think of how to say that in Spanish. Give me a call sometime this week if you get a chance, just to catch up. I bought you a card but I have yet to put it in the mail, so be watching and sometime this week it may show up!
2) Kate, I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night. Hopefully we can catch each other this week. Do you have finals this week or is it next week? I'm really excited for you that you'll be going to Italia soo soon!
3) Lisey, I'm interested to hear your news. Again, let's talk this week. Um...oh yeah, I love you.

To all of you (and anyone else reading this), I've been feeling really homesick today. I really wish I could go home next weekend, but I already made a commitment to go on a pick-a-date. And it's a formal, so yeah, I pretty much have to go. But know that I would rather be home and spreading the love around with beady beady. Whew, I really miss you ladies. I'm getting drained here. Emotionally, physically, spiritually...you know the drill. I just really need a good cuddle session with 3 of my favorite women. But alas, I guess blogging is as close as we can get for now.

I promise I will write more later, but for now, bed is calling. I love you all SO much! You're in my thoughts and prayers, sisters.

Siempre,
Heather

PS: About the clocks --> who is going to be in Illinois?

HANNAH IS 20!

This is the last paint picture, I promise...ok, I don't promise. Happy Birthday, Hannah! ((why do we capitalize 'birthday'? weird)) Do you like how it's all dark looking? I apparently have this subconscious belief in your inner cynicism or something. Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure this picture is the reason I had that weird dream about purgatory with the ellipses. Just saying.

See two of you in less than a week! Heathie, give me a call sometime soon, I've got random news for you. Love you girls!

e l i s a

birthday plans!

Hannah! Happy [early] birthday!
I still have not gotten you a gift, but soon.
So I feel weird about saying this, since Hannah's birthday is tomorrow, but I think I already decided what I want to do for my birthday. And I think all of you will be around for this... I want to go to Cedar Point. I haven't been in like 3 years. And one of my friends works there, and we were talking about it, and I just want to go once this summer. So, August 20th+ 20th birthday celebration. Join me!
Post Script: I added the clocks, which you most likely noticed. There should be one for every place that any of us is visiting this summer. Let me know if I forgot any.

1. Raise your hand if you think Elisa gets bored in class...

2. You should all check this out. It's mythically frightening.

3. Happy May! 2 days 'til Hannah Grace's birthday!!!

4. I had a dream that purgatory was this black hole where you swirled in and out of elliptical squiggles of bright colors and jumped really high. Things I should probably not post publically. I don't even believe in purgatory.

5. This is shorter than anything else I will ever post.

Love you all!

-e l i s a-