So, instead of that artful blog, you get this random jumble of thoughts, which is what I always do anyway.
On Friday, I went to a dinner at the church for all of the youth leaders. David Boerema called me a week or so ago and asked if I would come, and, as he put it, "Share a testimony of what the youth ministry did in my life." I didn't really know what to expect. Well, it turns out that Matt Talmage (you might know him...) and I were there representing the "former students," as he kept calling us. I have to say that I am really glad I went. Oh man, I almost cried a couple of times throughout the night, because it turned out that most of the time was open for any of the leaders, current students, or families who were invited to share highlights of the year for them.
As I sat there listening to stories from leaders who pour their lives into middle and high school kids, I couldn't help but remember how wonderful my experience with the youth group was. Sure, I had my ups and downs with the youth group, but what high school kid doesn't have ups and downs?! But seriously, how amazing is it that we graduated high school with a pretty good idea of what the Bible teaches, and a clear picture of what it looks like to talk about Jesus with our friends who have never heard of having a relationship with him? I am so grateful for the leaders that I had in High School who prayed for me, prayed with me when I was crying over what now seem like girlish problems, taught me, and were transparent with me about what they were going through and what God was teaching them. I am so grateful to Dave for his dedication to preaching the Word even when it meant dealing with tough issues or taking the chance of sounding not so nice. Youth Group can so easily be nothing more than a social outlet, but our Youth Group was so much more than that; I honestly feel like I spent most of my high school years truly experiencing the Body of Christ! I don't know hardly anyone who is still as close with friends from high school as I am with you four girls, and I think that is due, at least partially, to our youth group.
I am also just so grateful for each of you. You have each played such a part in shaping who I am, and being away from you for a while this summer has only magnified that. It's like, when I was away from everyone that I know, I realized how big a part of my life they are because I missed them.... if that makes sense.
This summer, while I was at the Bennetches, sometimes after breakfast, Sarah and I would just sit and chat for a bit. One of the conversations that we had, that I will probably always remember, was one where Sarah told me that when she first became a missionary, someone told her, "Wow, I could never do that. I could never be away from my family and friends for that long." I don't remember what she said to the person who said that, but she told me that it's not that she is really independent and doesn't miss her family. But for the Lord, it's worth it. And for some reason, hearing that was like letting out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I guess in my head, I sort of thought that when the time came to leave, wherever it is that God might take me, I would just have to tough it out, and learn to be independent. But seriously, what was I thinking?! Where in the bible does it say that you have to just tough it out and that you're on your own? NOWHERE! No, God has called me to do something. He knows exactly where I'll be a year from now, and he knows exactly what I'll be going through. And he will minister to my family and friends while I'm gone, and HE will take care of it. I will probably miss people so much as to bring myself to tears, but for God, and only God, it's worth it. I am so blessed with such a wonderful family, both biological and spiritual, and I don't think I'd be even thinking about being a missionary if it weren't for the encouragement of each of you. It's a bit of a paradox, actually. But I'm not leaving yet... so I'll try to avoid getting all sappy... as if the first part of this blog wasn't sappy!
To end, I will share a passage that I know pretty well, but have rediscovered in the Message, and I hope it brings you encouragement.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
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