(Please excuse the grammatically incorrect title. I had to -rather painfully- sacrifice my grammar for the sake of the word play. You win some, you lose some. Sue me.)
Well hello lovelies, it's been too long. Ladies of my life, I've been at school for only two days and already I am missing you three like crazy. I'm desperately homesick. Since I've gotten here I've felt very little excitement and a great deal of loneliness. Like I said, it has only been two days, but I've been pretty overwhelmed nonetheless. But this wasn't meant to depress you. What I wanted to tell you was this: physical touch is hands down, without question, absolutely my primary love language. It might not seem to connect with what I was just saying, but after a bout of crying into the bathroom stall in our student corum after blurting out to Matt how depressed and alone I felt even when I was with people, I realized that my loneliness only extends as far as the hands away from me. In other words, no one has been touching me here. Ok, I know that sounds really strange and creepy, so let me clarify. For those of you who aren't touchy people, you might think that anyone who has "physical touch" as a love language means they're constantly with their significant other, constantly sitting on people's laps and giving an unnecessary number of hugs. Although those are all manifestations of this language, they're only a very select few. I realized about 2 hours ago that I can play games with people and even have good conversations with them and feel loved; but I feel a thousand times more special when someone touches me while they're talking, scratches my back as they walk by, hugs me for no reason or puts a head (well, you know, their head--not just a head----that'd be creepy) on my shoulder. Since I've been at school, I haven't really had that. It may be partially because my friends aren't quite so thirsty for human contact, but even more just because all of us early-arrivers are intensely busy. Honestly though, just coming to these conclusions has made me feel a world of relief. It's good to know that I don't have the disease of depression and that I am not experiencing some sort of PMS on crack (sorry, male readers). And you know, as I think about it, I'm beginning to really like having this love language. Up until now I've kind of ignored my knowledge about my number one love language because, as many of you still may think, I thought it sounded weird--the love language that's just some sort of an excuse for promiscuity or something. But it isn't that at all. When I get a hug from another member of the body, it's as if the very arms of God are wrapping around me. Touch is such a tangible and satiable way to experience the love of God. Do we not all feel needed, special, loved and comforted when someone we love grabs us up in an embrace? When close friends feel comfortable enough around us to stroke our hair for no reason, to be our shoulder even in the absence of tears? Maybe not. Maybe that's just me; a "Feeler" as far as Myers-Briggs goes and a "Toucher" according to Dr. Gary Chapman.
Well, perhaps that was a little too deep for an online blog, but it seems as though we've all been fairly transparent. Hopefully this explains me a little bit more, but perhaps more importantly, I hope it may have helped one of you to understand yourselves better or someone around you better. For all of you hands-off, "acts of service" people, maybe you get a little more what's going on when your friend keeps slapping your shoulder or bear hugging you at seemingly random moments. Maybe you should just surprise them next time and "make the first move." Alright, now it sounds creepy again.
Anyone else have thoughts on their own love languages? Because I really don't understand a lot of them still, especially "acts of service" and "gifts." If you still aren't sure what I'm even talking about, try visiting this site or reading Dr. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. Boy does it explain a lot.
Ok, sorry for the inevitably long post. I love all you girls very much and do still miss you; maybe because I'm close enough to all three of you to be close. I wish virtual hugs actually enveloped you.
~e l i s a
1 comment:
Touch is not my first love language. I've never read the book, but I think mine's probably quality time.
That being said, when I first moved away to go to college, in the first few weeks, I found myself getting really depressed. It didn't take me long to realize that I was never getting hugs and I was getting almost no touch whatsoever. What do you think it means that all humans need human touch to function well? I think it's crazy. It makes sense that babies and kids need it because it's nurturing, but seriously, how would the human race have evolved a physical need for expression of love by other humans?
That being said, (forgive me for going all un-American here...) I think the whole kissing as a greeting thing is such a good idea. That way, every time you see people, you get physical touch. And it just seems so loving to me. I'm going to continue to use it in the right circumstances.
Rant over.
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