boxes, boxes, everywhere...

My whole life is in boxes. Literally and figuratively.

I feel consumed with to-do lists, and I am coping by compartmentalizing. For example, I realized today, while reading this book about missions that I just started, that I have put God in a box. It's like I said to him, "well, I'm too busy to be bothered with thinking about you most of the time, so I'll pencil you in, but if I don't get around to spending time with you, please help things to work out for me anyway." So I put God in this box that is far too small and dark to contain him, and then got mad at him when he wasn't constantly sending down signs from the heavens about what my future is supposed to be. Sometimes I wonder where my logic comes from.

The worst thing about keeping God in a box that he is too small for is the same problem that I am having with all of my clothes being in boxes. I can't find anything, I forget what I actually have, and when I try to unpack, I end up just making a mess. I pull out various aspects of God when I need them, leaving the rest of Him safely packed away until I make room for him in the rest of my life.

This book that I'm reading talks about the motivation for missions. The author stresses that the primary motivation is not the Great Commission, although that is a part of it. The main reason for missions is that missionaries are so enamored with God that they want to worship Him ceaselesly, and they want to take the joy of that worship and communion with God to the ends of the Earth.

Lately I've made the mistake of acting like missions is some sort of duty and that flipping through different opportunities online is a chore. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to find out what next year holds for me, but the past few weeks, I really put God on the back burner during all of my decision making, and I got convicted about that today, and I'm ready to turn it around and let God fill my day again.

On another note, my computer was also in a box, which partially explains my prolonged absence here. I tried to do some makeover stuff to the blog, but got discouraged because on second glance, I realized I don't like any of the pictures I took. So, let's make it our goal of tomorrow night (today? It's very early on Tuesday...) to take a picture that can decorate our blog. I'm excited for our outing!

Love,
~Kate