Christmas Plans

I just want to let everyone know...Toby and I will be in Cleveland from December 23-30. Which means that I MUST see each beady (if you're in town) at that time. Lisey, when will you be home? And Kate, are you thinking you'll be around then? Twin, I think I already know your plans. :)

Love, HZ

Ummmm....wow.

Hello beady sisters of mine. OH boy, so I have not blogged in what seems like ages...and for that I apologize! I feel like my life has been a whirlwind of emotion lately and I've been living in my own safe little hole very comfortably. As it turns out, broken hearts are actually a legit thing. It really doess hurt! Hm. I miss all three of you soo much, and have at least been grateful to have katie so close to me and am excited to be seeing her more. Sisters, I have been feeling better! Praiisssse God because I literally did not think this was possible so soon. It felt like I couldn't see any end to my pain and sadness. And now, I can honestly say that I can. Though my relationship with God is lacking on my part...it's just good to have a sense of hope again. I of course still have kind of a hole in my heart, and don't know how long I will feel it, but I'm confident that God and the people who love me will help me through it.
My classes are going well, however there is so much over lap because I'm basically taking allll sociology/crim classes so at times if feels pretty redundant. I'm enjoying them for the most part, but because of everything I've been going through recently it's been superrr hard to find any motivation to do my work. It was random that when all of this started happening in my life, I was completely becoming overloaded with school annd now work. It was rough. Now I'm finding a good balance for myself that I think will keep me a bit healthier. Especially mentally, ha. I really do love work. I like everyone that I work with and love being able to interact with people in that fun setting all day. I kinda had to slow down on my work schedule for the rest of this semester though, because my school work was so behind. As you three mayyy know?..when I am really upset emotionally, I get literallyy sick. ha So I'm actually juust finishing "phase 2" of my cold. It's been pretty annoying and definitely got in the way of my classes. So..priorities. lol. I musstt graduate. I did not come allll this way for nothing. It's funny though because at several points through my reallyyy rough patch I literally thought about dropping out. Thatt is how confused and lost I felt. I didn't even think I could make it through school the way I felt. I don't really know how else to describe it. Ohh man.
OOOkkk..so special request from Elisa. My bus story. So this morning my mom and I were driving into Lakewood. She usually drops me off on clifton so I can catch the bus there and then she drives to work. Today we were running wayy behind, so she asked if we could just go straight to her work and convinced me that I could just as easily take the 26 bus on detroit. I have never taken this bus before...and didn't quiitte know where it would take me. However, I'm pretty used to freestyling bus trips from commuting for 4 years. lol. So I walked onto detroit, and saw the bus coming. I didn't know how far away I was from the next stop...so I just ran. lol. I finally found one in time, and hopped onto the bus. It was huge, like..one of the Healthline buses (kite would know) : ). The bus was pretty empty actually. Oh yea..and I saw when the bus was coming towards me that it was going to east 13th street. So I was like..Ok..I basically know where that is. So all of a sudden the bus is sooo packed. It was like..mayhem. This one elderly woman (pretty sure she had no teeth which is why there was so much spit flying out of her mouth) who got on the bus and immediately started screaming. Like...swearing..threatening...I was freaked out. She was actually eyeing me down too. lol. I definitely would nott want to cross her on the street at night. Or anytime of day for that matter. So thenn these two creepy men get on. They sit riiiight next to me. I was so squished. I'm like..really? Oh well. But he had suuper long nails, and smelled awful. They were speaking some other language..but come on. I knoww when people are talking about me! They kept looking over and smiling and giggling and I was like..awwesome sauce. Then this really cute guy got on the bus and instead of sitting in..oh..idk..a seat? He stood riiiight in front of me holding onto the pole (ha, that sounds funny) and facingg me! It was so awkward! I didn't even know where to look! And then he persisted to ask me what my name was..and if I had a boyfriend. And I was over it pretty quickly. He got creepy reeeall fast. So we finally got near tower city so I hopped off. (so did cute boy). So then I saw a healthline about to leave so I jumped on that. I was standing near the front, and there were three old men standin up (well, one was in a hoveround)...and one old woman sitting by them. They all kept calling her their wife, soo i was kind of confused. However, I used my deductive reasoning skills to conclude that she wass in fact Hoveround's wife. But thenn Bus Stop (that was his nick name) leaned over and started intimately kissing her!!! And hoveround was looking..but he didnt say anything. So I was like, oh. Maybe she's bus stop's wife, and hoveround was just jokin. But thenn willyy was like..shooo he takin your ladyyy haha. And I'm like..whaaat??...crazy!! (in my head). And then Willy started talkin about how he woke up the other morning in his bed with two random women! He was like..ehhh I didnt even know who they werrre!! Ohhh man. At this point one of them started talking to me..and I was like..ding ding! Get off the bus Hannah. Sooo I did. Wow. I just...it all didnt even seem real. It already feels like I lived the whole day. lol.
Well beadies...I love you all. Elisa! I get to see you for halloweenn!!! yayyy. Cannot wait sister. Heather, I'll apparentlyy be seein you in December! Good enough for me! I'll take what I can get! ; ) And Kite..well..I'll see ya. YOu know.

Hannah Grace

19.Fischer.89

Fall Update from the Mrs.

Buenos noches, mis amores! Good evening from your newly married Minnesotan Beady. I think it's time for an update, what with all of the big changes going on around here...

First of all, thank you each for coming to my wedding!! I was pretty bummed at how short the night went and how little I got to talk with you ladies, but I guess there was no way to prevent that. Seriously, it meant so much to me (and Toby) that you each were able to come. Gosh, I can't even describe how I felt that entire day, being surrounded by everyone I love and wanting to talk to everyone individually, yet unable to do that. It was so amazing to be surrounded with that love and just to see everybody together in one place. :) Anyway, I've talked to all of you on the phone since then and updated you on wedding/honeymoon/newlywed business, but I thought I would share a few other things with you here.

Since we got back from our honeymoon, I have actually enjoyed my job! It has only been a week and a half of work since then, but I think I have finally figured out how to DO my job. I have learned how to schedule clients so that I am home by a normal hour (instead of 7 or 8 like I had been) and still get paid for a full-time week. I have learned how to NOT answer my cellphone when it is work-related once I get home for the night. I have learned how to separate my personal emotions from the stories my clients tell me, even though they can be extremely depressing. (Okay, so I haven't figured out how to do this completely...but at least I don't come home crying as much anymore!) And I'm starting to build good relationships with my clients. At least four of them in the last week have told me how much I am helping them and how much they like me. :) I have to say it is really nice to get some feedback at work, because I receive absolutely none from anyone else.

Other good news: Toby quit his job at Applebee's and we will now be able to actually spend evenings together - for the first time ever! He is working his very last shift tonight, and we both are thrilled. :) He started working one internship as an assistant to the middle school youth pastor, and that seems to be going well so far. Toby is waiting to hear back about an internship at another church, but we are very hopeful that he will get it! And if not, we'll just keep on looking...

Married life is great. I absolutely love coming home from work to be a wife and spend time in *our* apartment together. It's so nice to live in space that is just mine and Toby's, and not to worry about using other people's things or sharing furniture or bills or anything! It's crazy to think about the fact that I am a real adult - working full time to make money to buy everything I need and pay for all my expenses. I know many of my friends have been doing these things already for awhile now (and I guess I've been doing this for the past 5 months or so), but it's still strange to think about. When did I become an adult? Is it permanent? :)

Alright, well I guess I should go write some wedding thank-you's. Feel free to call/email/Skype me anytime, because I miss you girls a lot. Oh yeah, and let me know your plans for Christmas, because Toby and I are planning our Ohio trip and need to know when to come!

Love,

Heather Grace

Honesty

Dear Beady Sisses,

Honestly, I don't know how honest I've been with you all lately. Because honestly, I have not been doing great with the Lord. Honestly, last night was the first night in a long time where I truly felt as if I could only do all things through HIM who gives me strength rather than through me.

It's a funny thing how not being open damages a person. I have not purposely been hiding anything from the three of you or from my husband, but I have just stopped talking about my spiritual life. With anybody. Even the Lord. For a while, it doesn't seem like a big deal. Frankly, just about all summer long I omitted that part of my life from every conversation (the fact that I even have the ability to do that probably says something about the state of my heart right now), and now fall is well underway and I have not changed my habits in the slightest. Of course, the reasoning behind this is because I know that I have not been focusing the kind of effort or time I should be with the Lord. I'd love to blame it on change, on adjusting to married life, on it being my last semester, and believe me, I do use these as excuses. But what it really comes down is laziness with a hint of apathy. And you know, despite my extreme busyness, things are going pretty well for me, so what do I need the Lord for, right? I know how incredibly blasphemous that sounds, and I would never actually say that out loud, but that's really what I've been saying with my life. (And everyone knows 80% of communication is nonverbal. . . ) Why is it that it is so difficult for me to believe that I need the Lord even when there is not a "crisis" happening in my life? This is not a new problem in my life, but certainly an emphasized one over the last several months. I was at one point more disciplined. Why is that so hard to build and so simple to tear down?

Honestly girls, I've been avoiding writing anything on here, because I know that once I started to write I would inevitably need to be honest. Honestly though, Sara Groves is right when she says, "Oh honesty--oh honestly--the truth be told for the saving of our souls."

Your slightly blasphemous and forever imperfect friend,

Elisa

When my world is shaking, heaven stands

Not being in school is strange. Especially for a school lover like myself. I think it took finishing school to fully realize what a nerd I am. I make homework for myself. I read books that I wouldn't normally read on my own volition, just to challenge myself. But I do a lot of depressing things too. Work is, to me, pretty depressing. I dread going to work every time I go in. I don't often admit to hating my job, because theoretically it should be good. But I just hate it. It's meaningless. Which is why, when I went back to Laura's Home today, I had so much fun. I wasn't doing anything fun, exactly. I just had a blast doing things that matter, and seeing people that I love.
Overall though, life is pretty unstable now. Day to day, nothing unpredictable happens. But I feel this constant weight of not knowing exactly what's next. I spent a lot of time in the Old Testament this summer, which gave me some comfort in understanding God's plan for the world, but I didn't realize that I was missing some very foundational things by not reading the New Testament for so long. I read Colossians 1 today. Go read it. Seriously. Stop reading this blog and go read it.

Done? This chapter is so confusing to me in so many ways. It's so complex. There's so much going on. But here's what stuck out to me today:
1. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel, which has come to you, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and growing The gospel is bearing fruit and growing in the whole world! What an easy thing to forget about! I am planning on going into the world, into a different place, and I forgot that God is already working in the hearts of people that I will meet. And the Gospel is so powerful. And I am going for the Gospel's sake. What a privelege!
2. Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. We are qualified. I'm not exactly sure how. It's a mystery. I know it's through Christ. And I don't feel qualified. But I am. Right now.
3. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Right now, I need to hear this. In him all things hold together. In HIM all things hold together. Even when it seems like things are falling apart, and when everything seems arbitrary, I can know that He is holding it all together. He is actively keeping my life and your life from falling to pieces. Because certainly, if I were left to my own devices, I would be in pieces.

So, there you have it. A glimpse into the mind of a recent college grad, with not enough to do, and not enough trust. I think God is teaching me. If I knew the whole plan right now, I probably wouldn't want to do it. So I'll stick with finding things out in His timing.

I love you all. It was so wonderful being together over the weekend, and so great celebrating another beady wedding.

Peace sisters :)

~Kate

PS Did you notice that I even blog like it's homework....?

Greetings From the Grassy Knoll!

It's a quarter to 5 in the morning, and I'm on blogger.

So I was lying here in bed, coughing up a lung with a sore throat so bad I can hardly swallow, and I thought to myself: "What would be the best use of my time at 4am on a Saturday when I can't take my Tylenol 3 for another hour and all I'm doing is lying awake? Of course! I can blog!" That is how this little blog entry came about.

Basically, this was one of the worst weeks I've had in a long time. I think it was a combination of factors: I have a terrible cough and sore throat which I found out is laryngitis combined with allergies and possibly something else; I haven't slept through the night for at least a week; it's Toby's end of quarter which means the only time I saw him all week was for our hour of premarital counseling and then a KFC dinner afterwards (don't judge, you know it's awesome); I had a client cuss me out and basically tell me I'm terrible at my job (which I already had insecurities about) and then made me cry nonstop for the next hour or so -- again, emotional week. Not to mention this week was preceded by a weekend in which I decided that my antisocial-ness is becoming a problem and I really need to step out of my comfort zone and start making some friends. Yeah, pretty much, it was a bad week.

BUT, in all the crappiness, some really awesome things happened this week as well. LIKE, on Monday, the Zook ladies threw me a wedding shower/party and I got to spend some lovely time with just them. On Wednesday, I went out to coffee with one of my two friends in MN and we had a really encouraging conversation. On Thursday, I ended up hanging out with that same friend, her college friend, and the friend's roommate - and I had people ask to pray for me right then and there. I don't know why, but that really struck me. It has been a LONG time since someone said "Hey, do you mind if we pray for that right now?" I felt surprised and a little taken aback. And then I felt really sad that I felt that way. I felt like a person on the street being evangelized to - like someone who thinks "Yeah, there's no harm in letting this crazy Christian fanatic pray for my problems to be solved." How sad. I think there was a time when that was a more natural thing for me to say and hear people say, but in the last few years that has just not been something to which I'm accustomed. I don't know exactly why that is, because I was in a very Christian atmosphere in college. I'm guessing it has more to do with me personally than the people around me, and again, I'm not sure why. Anyway, it felt really awesome to hear someone pray for me out loud and then to pray myself out loud. I think I should do it again soon. :)

As you all know, there is another huge thing going on in my life right now...like a big celebration or something coming up. I'm getting married in 3 weeks from today!! Bah! And now it is freak-out time. I've been pretty good about staying calm and decreasing wedding stress, but I don't think there's any way to do that when you have a 4.5 month engagement and your wedding is 8 hours away and you have 3 weeks to make all the final decisions. :) It will be awesome, and almost everyone I'm closest to will be there, so I really can't complain!

I love and miss you Elisa, Hannah, and Kate. You are such incredible friends to me and I appreciate each one of you so much!

Always,

Heathie

feeling artsy

So, since not all of us beady sisters can afford to have a snazzy, shiny, white, beautiful macbook, some of us have kind of grungy computers. I've had mine for about 3 years, and the wear and tear was starting to get visible. I never really kept my computer in a sleeve or protected it. The outside of it was pretty dinged up. So, I started thinking maybe it was time for a makeover for Akiba (which I lovingly named my computer...). I had the idea of basically wallpapering my computer. But after giving it some thought, I decided maybe mod podge was the ticket.
Here's what I did:
This was very experimental. Hannah Grace Fischer had a lot of input.

I bought some handmade wrapping paper from World Market. I thought about wall paper, scrapbook paper, small art posters, etc. But wrapping paper seemed like the best option size wise and price wise. Plus, there were lots of fun options.

I saran wrapped my keyboard, to protect Akiba's ability to function.


I then closed up the lid, mod podged the area that I planned to cover with paper, and layed down the paper (beforehand, I cut a piece of paper that was about the same size as the top of my computer). I attempted to smooth the surface with my no longer needed Viking ID. I then used an exacto knife to cut around the edges to make them clean. Then I started painting on coats of mod podge. I alternated between horizontal and vertical coats. I did about 4 or 5 coats total. I still think I might do a few more.
Honestly, this project was scary. Hannah was there. She can attest to that. I felt like I was a vandal. Like I was defacing something. I felt terrified that it would go wrong and I would end up with a computer that I would be ashamed to take to coffee shops and libraries. Even while it was drying I was worried. But now that it's dry, I'm pretty happy with it. It's fun and different. I don't think I'll be running into anyone else whose computer looks like mine anytime soon.
Some notes to anyone who would try this at home:

My computer is not flat and doesn't have straight lines. I think it would be easier if it had straight lines.
When you use a credit card or something to smooth out the bubbles, act fast. I ran into the mod podge drying quicker than I could smooth it out, so there are wrinkles. I think other factors contributing to the wrinkles were the handmade paper (it soaked up the mod podge pretty quickly and didn't budge after a few seconds. regular wallpaper would have been a little easier) and the shape of my computer (the fact that the surface of it has contour makes it harder to make it flat and smooth).
Be sure that you want to do it. I don't think it's ever coming off. Though maybe, someday, if I get sick of this one, I'll just mod podge another right on top of this one!

That's all! I had fun!

Wow. I Hate Roller Coasters Even More Now.

Alright beady sisters,

My apologies that I have nottt been at all apart of holding this awesome blog together. I just don't even know where the time went, and (as the three of you know) have had a hard time blogging since I've had nothing profound to say. This summer seems like it was just one more trippy dream to add to my memory. My emotions have been a complete roller coaster these past three months exactly, and now that summer is over I feel that a final summer closure blog is in order. I miss you all three very much, and yes it was difficult not having all THREE of you here at once to comfort me...but I still feel close to you all nonetheless and have felt your love and comfort (even for afar).

I am sooo ready for fall semester. I am excited for my new classes that will push me further into my study of interest, to see and interact with school friends, to be in the city everyday again (hopefully working there as well), to have a routine, and honestly...to be distracted. It's been such an...interesting summer for lack of a better word. I caught myself thinking on several occasions these past few months.."wow..maybe I'm just not meantt to be here in the States during the summer. This is just weird. Maybe I should just not even livvve here!" As dramatic as that was, it's got me rethinking a lot. This summer was not my besstt summer with God. It will definitely not go down in the books as myyy best summer in my life I think (on a good life-choice level). The past two summers have held soo many good revelations about my life, and involved direction...and I feel like this summer just threw me into a frickin labyrinth of confusion. I am ready to move ahead of it though. With this new chilled air comes new opportunity for change, for ME to change. I am just now realizing that this blog is very jumbled. Oh well.

So girls, I miss you all very dearly (thought kate isss very close haha), and can't wait for us all to be reunited once again at Twin and Tobes wedding. Yaaayyyy double thumbs up. You are all in my heart and prayers. Love you!

Vacation

Thoughts from my vacation:

It's rainy and cold today, which is why I am blogging on vacation.
This is the first time that I have felt cold all summer.
It seems like the leaves turn colors earlier in the Upper Peninsula, which is making me long for autumn.
Where we are, there aren't many paved roads. They are made of sand. Red sand.
In case you were wondering, biking on sand is a great work out.
Small towns are proud of funny things, like murders that happened 50 years ago, and movies that were once filmed in the local bar.
In small towns, the mayor can (and does) drink shots with the best of 'em.
I have met more Presbyterians in the past 3 days than I ever remember meeting. They are nice folks.
Cottage cheese in pancakes is surprisingly delicious.
I like getting massages.
When you turn 21, sometimes random people you don't know try to convince you to drink alcohol.
Bed & Breakfasts are funny places where almost no one is under the age of 50.
People over 50 don't like climbing ladders into the tops of lighthouses, which means that I get the lighthouse balcony to myself most of the time. Of course that means I have to make friends with lots of spiders.
I stink at blacksmith puzzles.
When I sat down to start reading Jane Eyre, I discovered that the copy that I recently bought at Half Price Books for $1.25 is missing the first 10 pages. I think I went through all of the Kübler-Ross stages of grief over the course of the 10 minutes following this discovery.
Dill Pickle Pringles are SO good. Trust me.
Weather on a lake can change really quickly. Oh wait, I've always known that.
After a busy crazy summer, this vacation is exactly what I needed.