This is just to say that I miss you three and am honestly pretty T.O.ed (to borrow a phrase from Kip Dynamite--not to be confused with the once-great film The Other Exit) that you all get to hang out together while I trudge through the blizzards of Grand Rapids, cold, lonely and deprived of beady love.
This is just to say that I am so so happy for Heather Grace to move to Minnesota, but so so sad that we'll never have another summer together. Any of us all together.
This is just to say that I don't know where on earth I'm headed this summer, next year, this lifetime in terms of career. I don't know what's in store for me and most of the time I feel as though I'm not worth having things in store for. (Why do I let Satan tell me that? I schluff off Jeremiah 29:11 as an out of context inspirational quote, as if it is not Truth but merely a motivational poster invented to let people believe what is not real. How off I am.)
This is just to say that I am beginning to understand more of what it will mean to be married. More about how friendships will change, how family dynamics will alter, and mainly how I will be tied to the one person I love the most in the world forever. The last part excites me more than anything else ever has in my lifetime. "Five years is too long..."
This is just to say I'm in favor of a 28 hour day. How I would benefit from having extra time to call you all, to do all of my homework, to spend more time with the Lord, to visit the best place on earth (a.k.a. Frederick Meijer Gardens), to call my mom and dad just to chat, to call my brother and sister (who I am going to see in a matter of days!), to encourage the people around me; to do all of the things I've been putting off doing, not because of a lack of time, but because of a lack of time management and an ill distribution of priorities.
This is just to say I found a dollar today and felt as if the world revolved around my Magellan-worthy find. Why is finding a dollar so much more exciting than finding new people, new friends, even new believers?
This is just to say that people are more intricate and detailed than I can even imagine. That behind every face is a soul, behind every word is a story, behind every behavior is a history.
This is just to say that Shamu is a killer. "Shamu" is no substitute for his real name: "Killer Whale." Shamu got sick of it all and snapped. At least humans are too sophisticated for that...
This is just to say I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, a lot of half-songs, a lot of rambling concerns. This is just to tell you, in case you didn't notice. This is just to make you think. This is just to enter into Elisa's moleskin journal.
This is just to say I'm not usually this emo; let's call it instead poetic.
.e.l.i.s.a.
3 comments:
Elisa, I kinda love this new emo..er..poetic side of you. Haha. I miss you terribly and am proud of you for not completelyy losing it (at least to my knowledge) when thinking about how the four of us will never all be here in the summer. You know what..this is another chapter. We are going to create so many new memories but in different and altered ways. I love you sooo much, and know that God will do great things in your life. This will happen whether it be RIGHT out of college or further down the road. Ok? ok. Have a blast with your sibs girl!
p.s.-I lost it when i read the little note on "Shamu"..I completely concur with that statement. lol
(Thank you Jim Doyle.)
OH MAN. I am not equipped to deal with growing up.
Elisa, you are definitely not alone in any of your thoughts. I am just as scared by the future and just as sad about the present!
Post a Comment