It's not mine anyway.

Do you ever have those moments where you become acutely aware of (and disturbed by) how much you have? You know, like when you look in your walk-in closet, and think to yourself that it is not big enough for all your stuff while wishing that you had more clothes because you never have anything to wear. I get them frequently, yet not often enough for it to really change anything in my heart.
I had one such moment tonight. I have had a lingering cough since this past weekend when Hannah and I spooned for just long enough for her to give it to me. I have been under-rested and under-medicated. So tonight, after hacking up a storm, my mom convinced me to go to the store and buy some medicine. On my way out to the car I realized that my brother took mine. Luckily, I ran into my dad in the parking lot, and took his keys. I drove just down the road to Drug Mart, where I bought Tylenol Cold, and previously viewed copies of Pride & Prejudice and Bella (because they barely cost more than it does to rent them)!
I got home, went in the bathroom to take my medicine, opened it, and saw how few pills I got for $6.00! As I fumed about how I had just been ripped off, I had my moment.

It hit me. I am sick and I can get in one of my family's four cars and drive less than a mile to a store, where I can buy medicine. Not only that, but despite the fact that I have been unemployed for the past month, and consider myself broke, I had enough cash in my pocket to buy two movies on a whim. I came home to my bathroom which I share with no one, and took my meds, but was bitter about how much I payed for 24 pills. How much of the world doesn't have medicine readily available to them, or running water for that matter? How many people have never even seen a movie, let alone own them.

Is it wrong for me to own movies, or take medicine? No. But sometimes these little moments bring me back to Earth and remind me how lucky I am to have what I have, and how I don't deserve it, and how it's not mine anyway.

Oh, and add to the list of things to be grateful for: I start work at Old Navy tomorrow, FINALLY!

Hope to see all of you beady beadies soon!

Love,

~Kate