Well this year has been...well...as a wise friend once told me "a bitch". ; ) And I completely concur. I feel so much better now in every way, that's for sure. It's clear to ME how much so at least. And I'm sure the three of you would agree. Even though I'm in this new place right now, which is a complete blessing and answer to multiple peoples prayers...I still feel very fragile. It's actually amazing to me how such a new state of mind and heart could feels so scary and unnerving. It's because of this that I would like to ask you for continued prayer sisters. I just feel very strange not living in that dark place anymore, that at times I am emotionally overwhelmed. It seems like the change happened so fast, and though this is awesome, it may have been a shock to my soul. I had grown very accustomed to where I was. That selfish place, that I couldn't seem to even see past by any stretch of the imagination. I want to really stay honest with you three about where I am, because frankly...I just have to. Satan attacks my heart every day. Sometimes with new things, but majority of the time with the old and all too familiar. Though I am at such a good place now, I think that's what truly makes me so vulnerable to lies that he's constantly awaking me and rocking me to sleep with. It's not very fun. So please just pray that God will free me from this bondage and that he will strengthen my heart and not let it be hardened (which I'm afraid has already partially happened). Thanks sisters.
I have been lucky enough to do a lot of really fun and productive-like things lately. This past weekend I was in Washington D.C. with Janet Maltbie and Amanda Meeker. It was such a great time, and opportunity. I was a bit hesitant going into it, not only because it was a huge sacrifice of time (of my online classes) but I was very intimidated and lacking in confidence. The first day I got to the workshop though I knew I would have a great time. It is in the Art and Media House downtown and was this very artsy..eclectic-looking house with an art gallery on the first floor and a mac lab upstairs. It was awesome. So that's where I spent most of my time was learning about the art of digital story telling, putting together MY story/script to be used for my video, and then spending A LOTT of time learning the software Final Cut Express and editing my final piece. It was veryyy intense but well worth it. I came out of the weekend with my first ever digital short! : ) I have to say that I'm not like..SUPERR proud of it, because I'm a perfectionist and I just see all the mess ups (seeing as how i did it in like..4 hours) haha. But I did show it to my tuesday night dinner group of gals last night, who it were my intended audience, and they all loved it. Watched it twice in a row! : ) So I would love for you three to see it sometime soon.
I have been also doing my online classes, I'm taking 18 credit hours online...sooo yea. It's a bit like being on house arrest and most of the time I'm just jumping out of my skin! Give me the sunshine! : ) It's been really intense, especially given that 3 of the 5 end July 1st. They are only 6 weeks, so they are very condensed and rather fast paced. Prime motivation...I am done with school FOREVERR after August 12th. ; ) That feels good to say. / Scary...not too sure what my life will look like after that. Though as Janet said this weekend, "Hannah, can I say something? Is it ok?...I just don't think you belong in Avon Lake. I think you need to be somewhere else. Avon Lake is not for you." Janet, I couldn'ttt agree with you more. haha She also wants me to be an undercover FBI agent and will be setting up connections for me on sunday. lol! Yesss pleassse. I can see it.
Alright girls, well...I HOPE you're proud of me for finally posting!! haha jk. It was about time. Love and miss you all dearly. Sister, I need to skype with you / see what we can do about gettin me to MI. : ) Twin, I would LOVE to come see YOU this summer! Maybe once most of my classes have settled down in July? We should skype again soon. Katesters, I should see you sometime soon. : )
xoxo HG
1 comment:
Sister dear, thanks for writing all this. I am so glad that you are diligent about keeping us posted on your emotional state. I think Satan knows your healing, and would happily pull you down at any minute, be it through relapse, through bitterness, through selfishness, or through the belief that because things seem fine, you can quit trying so hard. Sometimes that idiot seems so smart--and then I think, "pshh, God knows things Satan's never even heard of." All this to say, as cliche as it might sound, the Lord is on your side, as are all of us. Continue to live boldly sister. One of my faves: "Have I not commanded you, 'Be strong and courageous'? Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your GOD will be with you wherever you go." - Josh 1:9
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