It's a quarter to 5 in the morning, and I'm on blogger.

So I was lying here in bed, coughing up a lung with a sore throat so bad I can hardly swallow, and I thought to myself: "What would be the best use of my time at 4am on a Saturday when I can't take my Tylenol 3 for another hour and all I'm doing is lying awake? Of course! I can blog!" That is how this little blog entry came about.

Basically, this was one of the worst weeks I've had in a long time. I think it was a combination of factors: I have a terrible cough and sore throat which I found out is laryngitis combined with allergies and possibly something else; I haven't slept through the night for at least a week; it's Toby's end of quarter which means the only time I saw him all week was for our hour of premarital counseling and then a KFC dinner afterwards (don't judge, you know it's awesome); I had a client cuss me out and basically tell me I'm terrible at my job (which I already had insecurities about) and then made me cry nonstop for the next hour or so -- again, emotional week. Not to mention this week was preceded by a weekend in which I decided that my antisocial-ness is becoming a problem and I really need to step out of my comfort zone and start making some friends. Yeah, pretty much, it was a bad week.

BUT, in all the crappiness, some really awesome things happened this week as well. LIKE, on Monday, the Zook ladies threw me a wedding shower/party and I got to spend some lovely time with just them. On Wednesday, I went out to coffee with one of my two friends in MN and we had a really encouraging conversation. On Thursday, I ended up hanging out with that same friend, her college friend, and the friend's roommate - and I had people ask to pray for me right then and there. I don't know why, but that really struck me. It has been a LONG time since someone said "Hey, do you mind if we pray for that right now?" I felt surprised and a little taken aback. And then I felt really sad that I felt that way. I felt like a person on the street being evangelized to - like someone who thinks "Yeah, there's no harm in letting this crazy Christian fanatic pray for my problems to be solved." How sad. I think there was a time when that was a more natural thing for me to say and hear people say, but in the last few years that has just not been something to which I'm accustomed. I don't know exactly why that is, because I was in a very Christian atmosphere in college. I'm guessing it has more to do with me personally than the people around me, and again, I'm not sure why. Anyway, it felt really awesome to hear someone pray for me out loud and then to pray myself out loud. I think I should do it again soon. :)

As you all know, there is another huge thing going on in my life right now...like a big celebration or something coming up. I'm getting married in 3 weeks from today!! Bah! And now it is freak-out time. I've been pretty good about staying calm and decreasing wedding stress, but I don't think there's any way to do that when you have a 4.5 month engagement and your wedding is 8 hours away and you have 3 weeks to make all the final decisions. :) It will be awesome, and almost everyone I'm closest to will be there, so I really can't complain!

I love and miss you Elisa, Hannah, and Kate. You are such incredible friends to me and I appreciate each one of you so much!

Always,

Heathie

feeling artsy

So, since not all of us beady sisters can afford to have a snazzy, shiny, white, beautiful macbook, some of us have kind of grungy computers. I've had mine for about 3 years, and the wear and tear was starting to get visible. I never really kept my computer in a sleeve or protected it. The outside of it was pretty dinged up. So, I started thinking maybe it was time for a makeover for Akiba (which I lovingly named my computer...). I had the idea of basically wallpapering my computer. But after giving it some thought, I decided maybe mod podge was the ticket.
Here's what I did:
This was very experimental. Hannah Grace Fischer had a lot of input.

I bought some handmade wrapping paper from World Market. I thought about wall paper, scrapbook paper, small art posters, etc. But wrapping paper seemed like the best option size wise and price wise. Plus, there were lots of fun options.

I saran wrapped my keyboard, to protect Akiba's ability to function.


I then closed up the lid, mod podged the area that I planned to cover with paper, and layed down the paper (beforehand, I cut a piece of paper that was about the same size as the top of my computer). I attempted to smooth the surface with my no longer needed Viking ID. I then used an exacto knife to cut around the edges to make them clean. Then I started painting on coats of mod podge. I alternated between horizontal and vertical coats. I did about 4 or 5 coats total. I still think I might do a few more.
Honestly, this project was scary. Hannah was there. She can attest to that. I felt like I was a vandal. Like I was defacing something. I felt terrified that it would go wrong and I would end up with a computer that I would be ashamed to take to coffee shops and libraries. Even while it was drying I was worried. But now that it's dry, I'm pretty happy with it. It's fun and different. I don't think I'll be running into anyone else whose computer looks like mine anytime soon.
Some notes to anyone who would try this at home:

My computer is not flat and doesn't have straight lines. I think it would be easier if it had straight lines.
When you use a credit card or something to smooth out the bubbles, act fast. I ran into the mod podge drying quicker than I could smooth it out, so there are wrinkles. I think other factors contributing to the wrinkles were the handmade paper (it soaked up the mod podge pretty quickly and didn't budge after a few seconds. regular wallpaper would have been a little easier) and the shape of my computer (the fact that the surface of it has contour makes it harder to make it flat and smooth).
Be sure that you want to do it. I don't think it's ever coming off. Though maybe, someday, if I get sick of this one, I'll just mod podge another right on top of this one!

That's all! I had fun!

Wow. I Hate Roller Coasters Even More Now.

Alright beady sisters,

My apologies that I have nottt been at all apart of holding this awesome blog together. I just don't even know where the time went, and (as the three of you know) have had a hard time blogging since I've had nothing profound to say. This summer seems like it was just one more trippy dream to add to my memory. My emotions have been a complete roller coaster these past three months exactly, and now that summer is over I feel that a final summer closure blog is in order. I miss you all three very much, and yes it was difficult not having all THREE of you here at once to comfort me...but I still feel close to you all nonetheless and have felt your love and comfort (even for afar).

I am sooo ready for fall semester. I am excited for my new classes that will push me further into my study of interest, to see and interact with school friends, to be in the city everyday again (hopefully working there as well), to have a routine, and honestly...to be distracted. It's been such an...interesting summer for lack of a better word. I caught myself thinking on several occasions these past few months.."wow..maybe I'm just not meantt to be here in the States during the summer. This is just weird. Maybe I should just not even livvve here!" As dramatic as that was, it's got me rethinking a lot. This summer was not my besstt summer with God. It will definitely not go down in the books as myyy best summer in my life I think (on a good life-choice level). The past two summers have held soo many good revelations about my life, and involved direction...and I feel like this summer just threw me into a frickin labyrinth of confusion. I am ready to move ahead of it though. With this new chilled air comes new opportunity for change, for ME to change. I am just now realizing that this blog is very jumbled. Oh well.

So girls, I miss you all very dearly (thought kate isss very close haha), and can't wait for us all to be reunited once again at Twin and Tobes wedding. Yaaayyyy double thumbs up. You are all in my heart and prayers. Love you!

Vacation

Thoughts from my vacation:

It's rainy and cold today, which is why I am blogging on vacation.
This is the first time that I have felt cold all summer.
It seems like the leaves turn colors earlier in the Upper Peninsula, which is making me long for autumn.
Where we are, there aren't many paved roads. They are made of sand. Red sand.
In case you were wondering, biking on sand is a great work out.
Small towns are proud of funny things, like murders that happened 50 years ago, and movies that were once filmed in the local bar.
In small towns, the mayor can (and does) drink shots with the best of 'em.
I have met more Presbyterians in the past 3 days than I ever remember meeting. They are nice folks.
Cottage cheese in pancakes is surprisingly delicious.
I like getting massages.
When you turn 21, sometimes random people you don't know try to convince you to drink alcohol.
Bed & Breakfasts are funny places where almost no one is under the age of 50.
People over 50 don't like climbing ladders into the tops of lighthouses, which means that I get the lighthouse balcony to myself most of the time. Of course that means I have to make friends with lots of spiders.
I stink at blacksmith puzzles.
When I sat down to start reading Jane Eyre, I discovered that the copy that I recently bought at Half Price Books for $1.25 is missing the first 10 pages. I think I went through all of the Kübler-Ross stages of grief over the course of the 10 minutes following this discovery.
Dill Pickle Pringles are SO good. Trust me.
Weather on a lake can change really quickly. Oh wait, I've always known that.
After a busy crazy summer, this vacation is exactly what I needed.

Moving on...

Well, I left Laura's Home today. I'm sorry I didn't post more about it here. It's overwhelming to try to soak in everything that's happening, let alone put it in some sort of form that's accessible to readers. Spend some time with me, and I guarantee that the stories will come out. But trying to put them all here would be crazy.
Looking back on the experience (talk to me in a week and I'll probably have a different perspective), I'd say that the coolest thing was how little my plans mattered. I tried not to go there with any preconceived notions about what it would be like, but I had them anyway. And I couldn't even articulate to you what they were or how they were shattered. I really think you can only understand it if you do it.
Leaving was pretty emotional. Several ladies slipped my their phone numbers on my way out, and I sort of wonder, if I were to call them, what would we talk about? A couple of the kids cried, but most of them were too young to really understand what my leaving meant. One woman, Tara, welled up for the past week every time I said anything about leaving. Tara has a 3 year old boy (one of the cutest kids ever!) and when she came, she would hardly look me in the eyes. Over 10 weeks, she has turned into such a softy. Seeing her cry this morning as I gave her a hug and told her I'd be praying for her and Jalynn made me want to weep, because I can't believe how far she's come, and because I'm seriously going to miss her.
I was certain that by the end of 10 weeks, I'd be burned out. After the first few weeks, I couldn't get over how tired I was all the time. I was exhausted from giving so much of myself so much of the time. But I adjusted. Giving became less of an effort. I worked hard, and God sustained me. And I feel like I could go longer. The 10 weeks went so fast. I could go 10 more.
It's bizarre to think that now I'm returning to my world that is held together by a false, yet deceptive sense of stability. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that I never have to worry about having a roof over my head, or clothes to wear, or insert luxury here. But there's something so humbling about living among people who have no such assurance.
In fact, the whole summer was humbling. In every possible way. It's not about what I think should be said, or what rules I think are good, or what I want to do, or what I think is fair, or what I know. It's about God and how He has planned everything to be. And in coming or going, I can rest in that.
It's been a sweet summer. I can't wait to tell you about it.

Beady Pics

Well I just got off the phone with Hannah and I'm feeling a bit beady-homesick right now. I know it's been ages since I blogged, and sadly, I do not have the energy to write one at this moment, but I do feel like posting some pictures for everyone's viewing pleasure.

I love you all.

Heather Grace