At youth group on Wednesday night, our youth pastor Brady talked about the story of the talents. He told the kids it was really about potential. Each man who received the ten talents was being given potential and was able to choose what he did with it. Two men were considered "good and faithful servants" for multiplying their potential, using the abilities and things their master had given them. But the last man was accused of laziness and even wickedness. Why? He buried his potential and left it forever, no turning back. Now it is often the case that I feel Brady speaks more to me than to anyone else in the room, and Wednesday was just such a night. I felt guiltier than a dog who pooped on the carpet. Because I have intentionally buried a whole big chunk of potential for the last year or so: my music. Now that it is clear that I will be finishing my masters and getting a grown up job, I have completely buried my musical dreams. Some of that I think is ok. I'm more than happy to let go of the thought of touring and writing full time. Frankly, I have no desire to do that. But I knew in my heart on Wednesday that burying my gifts and talents altogether is shameful. I do not have to be a professional to use the musical potential I possess. I do not have to make albums to bless people. I do not have to win Grammy's to go on writing. Over the last year or so though, I have subconsciously decided that if music will not be my career, it will not be my anything. And frankly my friends, that lie came straight from the ugly and putrid devil. It's just this whole time, I didn't think it was a lie. I thought I was just one more girl who had a dream that went away and that was that. But that's the thing. That is not that. And it had better not be if I want to avoid the same lazy wickedness of a fool with a shovel.
So as I played my still-favorite of my written songs tonight, "I Won't Hide", and cried over the irony at singing such a song after the last year, I prayed for the guts and wisdom not to take my ten talents and stick them in the ground. And I believe God answered. It is nothing glamorous or original, but if I do not write it down I fear I will never follow through with anything else either. Here is what I have decided to do: I am going to make a youtube channel of me singing the stuff I've written that I think God gave me for a reason. This channel will in no way be intended to gain any sort of following or to gain any sort of attention. It will be solely for the purpose of blessing my friends and family who might still want to hear what God is speaking to me through song. If they feel someone else could benefit from a particular song, they are welcome to pass it on. The main purpose is just to bless people in any small way by at least keeping my "talents" in the daylight rather than beneath the ground. I think it's just about the least I can do.
I am no longer an aspiring singer/songwriter, but that doesn't give me the right to hide my voice, hide my songs, from the world. Songs from an un-famous friend can still be as powerful as those from a famous stranger. So friends, if you have any song requests of years and years past, anything that touched your heart at any point, let me know. Otherwise I am going to one by one post what I think is worth posting and pray that this is one step toward burying my shovel.
You are each a blessing to me. Can I bless you?
Elisa
P.S. Please hold me to this. I am not the best at following through, especially when it means putting my heart on the line. Friends have elbows for a reason. Feel free to nudge.
Elisa
P.S. Please hold me to this. I am not the best at following through, especially when it means putting my heart on the line. Friends have elbows for a reason. Feel free to nudge.
